|This is us in the photo booth at my friend's wedding in October.|
On Saturday, Anthony and I 'celebrated' 17 years together.
When I say celebrated, Anthony spent the day working outside and I spent the day marking. Oliver sat neglected in his bedroom, alone and forlorn...(actually, he had a friend over and spent the day shooting things with Nerf guns). We did manage a movie on the couch in the evening though. And Anthony bought me a lovely bunch of flowers:
|He picked these because they were purple. Sweetie.|
And I guess that's one of the things that will keep us together. The fact that we can still surprise each other.
So many people take the easy way out in relationships. When things get tough, they get away as quick as they can. Things have been pretty tough for us. Not just the Sam thing - we've had other serious downs along with our ups.
But through it all we've stuck together. At first perhaps it was stubbornness. We jumped in so fast, so young (I've told you before about how we got together, bogan style), we would have been admitting weakness to let it fold, and honestly, who wants to hear the "I told you so"s?
In the early years, we had some rip-snorting fights. I remember once Anthony walked out on an argument and I was so angry I threw the closest thing at him. It just happened to be a wire cooling rack. It sailed straight through the (closed) window, leaving a drafty reminder of my temper for days.
We don't fight so much any more. We've learned to communicate better, and we've realised that you just can't change a person.
Mind you, they can change themselves, as the flowers demonstrate. We've both changed over 17 years, and I think it's made us better.
So, what's the secret to staying together? Don't give up. It's easy to think that there's something better out there, but from what I see in other people, there usually isn't. Talk, share, laugh, have your own space and let them have theirs, and do things together. Whether it's big fancy holidays or a night on the couch with a bowl of popcorn.
Sometimes I think it would be cool to be single - to go and explore the world, but then I remember I'm pretty happy where I am. With my best buddy.
Happy 17 years honey.