Foo, Foo, and more Foo!

Ok, I've decided that Tuesday is going to be my blog day. So tonight I'm going to catch up a bit.
Firstly, my Foo adventure!

As you know, I'm a bit of a Foo-natic. That is, a big, slightly obsessed, fan of the Foo Fighters. I've already seen them once this year, as I blogged about way back in March.
They came back here in December and, having bought the tickets way back in July, I was definitely not going to miss them!
My wonderful brother-in-law James sent me a message about three weeks before the show saying that he had a spare ticket to the Gold Coast show. And I thought - why not? I never do crazy, impetuous stuff like that, so I decided that I was going to go.

So on Thursday the 8th of December (good god! is it really that long ago? So much to catch up on!), Anthony and I drove to Sydney for the first gig. We stayed in a lovely room at the Radisson Darling Harbour and a lovely 3km stroll to the Sydney Football Stadium, where the concert was held.

Our seats were waaaaaay back, but it gave us a good opportunity to just sit and enjoy the music/atmosphere. This was their biggest gig, with about 40000 people crammed in - what an amazing atmosphere!

Tenacious D were the support act. That would have made a great gig on it's own. Jack Black was in great form!

But of course, the Foo Fighters were amazing, as usual. They know how to put on a good show, and included some of my favourite songs. There's nothing like hearing 40000 people singing along to the same song!

So on the Friday we went home, and then on Saturday morning I jumped on a plane to Brisbane. James and Michael (his best mate) picked me up from the airport, and after a Hard Rock lunch (well, where else would we go??) we headed to Metricon Stadium, to wait near the front of the line.
When they finally let us in, I did something I haven't done for years. I ran!
With all the other die-hards, I ran to the stage so that I could be near the front. And I managed a nice spot right next to the catwalk that Dave used throughout the show (I've put my camera down somewhere in the house...will put up some better photos when I find it!).

It was so much fun! Despite staying in the same place for about 7 hours, with people pushing up against me, I had a great time! Singing, bouncing up and down, and shouting myself hoarse (knowing full well none of the band could hear me)!
They played pretty much the same set, but it was so different being right up near the stage. I used to do it a lot when I was younger, but hadn't lately. I'm glad I did!

Early Sunday morning I flew back to Canberra. The connecting flight from Sydney was particularly horrible; a Dash-8 flying through a thunderstorm. At one point we had one of those huge turbulence drops and by the time I got off the plane I was feeling decidedly nauseous! Not the best way to end my Foo-venture!

Still, to cap off my crazy-busy weekend, Anthony and I went along to the Spicks and Speck-tacular, which was amazing! A great live show that included some of the games from the show and lots of really funny stuff. When we came outside, the carpark was flooded:

Yep, that's Anthony in the car. He waded through the water for me. What a man!

So that was my wild weekend. Lots of fun, some great memories, and some awesome music!

Spicky Specky Goodbye

I know, I should probably do a post on Kyle Sandilands, I'm so not hip!

Still, there are better things in life to waste my time (and typing fingers on).

 Like Spicks and Specks.

A while back, I blogged about my (almost) complete disinterest in television. In it, I mentioned that Spicks and Specks was one of the only shows that  actually bother watching.

Well sadly last night it came to an end. And despite the fact that I forgot to watch it more often than not, I'll miss it.

'Cause Spicks and Specks was a show I was comfortable with. It made me laugh, it gave me a chance to see a range of cool musical type people in funny situations...

 ...and it made me feel smart.

When I was younger, I could identify most songs within the first few bars. And as I grew older I got better at it. And I developed a fairly encyclopedic knowledge of music and musicians.
A totally useless skill I thought, until I realised that Alan Brough and Myf Warhurst got paid to do it every week. Bastards! I could have been so good on that show!

Because I'm not super intelligent, no matter how much I yearn to be so. Oh, I'm not dumb, but I've never been one of those intelligent, witty types that have a snappy answer for everything and seem to come up with the answer effortlessly.

When I'm watching Spicks and Specks I am smart. I can answer a lot of the questions. My family tell me how good I am at it. And it makes me feel good.

So it's not just the cool music, laughter and funky sets that I'll miss, it's also the world-beating feeling of awesomeness.

Thanks for the memories guys...(oh, and I'll see you next month at the Spicks and Speck-tacular!)

The Entertainer

I'm in rock mode at the moment, so please forgive the rantings and ravings of a rock tragic!

I go in phases though, I wonder if anyone else does, or if it's just my crazy personality?
I mean, I can go for a couple of weeks without listening to anything more than what's on the radio (my station of choice? Triple J. Not necessarily because the music is better - though they don't tend to play the really annoying top 40 stuff - but because they have more music than chatter. That's what a radio's for, dammit!). Then, something will come over me and I'll have to listen to music all day and most of the night.

I'm in one of those 'music all the time' phases, so yesterday, as we pottered, we watched a count down of 100 'Most memorable Videos'.
I love music videos. And I have ever since I can remember. I used to fight with my brother every Saturday morning over control of the TV: he wanted cartoons, I wanted Video Hits, or Rage or whatever else was on.

There were a few years that I obsessively taped them too. I built up hours of carefully cued and time videos; sometimes taping whole shows, then going over the ones I didn't like, other times cuing up a spot on the tape and then waiting for that moment to press record. Sad, I know, especially to those of you that haven't known the wonder that is tape. it's so easy to just watch the video on YouTube now!

Anyway, I digress (how unlike me!).

I really think that to make a good video, you have to be an entertainer. You have to be able to ham it up if necessary. There are a few bands that do that really well, so I thought I'd point a couple out.

Queen

One of the videos in yesterday's countdown was 'I want to break free' by Queen:


It's not my favourite Queen song of all time, but it's a corker of a video!

In the years of music videos where most were bands jumping up and down on stage, Queen came up with some great stuff.
This video borders on obscene in places, and is very bizarre, but they pull it off because they just know how to play their parts.
I love how Freddy Mercury keeps his moustache while he's in drag, but has shaved it off for another part of the clip. Gold. He's got pretty nice legs too!

Red Hot Chili Peppers

There are any number of videos I could choose for these guys. Californication is one of the coolest videos ever, and I also love Dani California and Can't Stop, which all totally demonstrate the whole 'entertainer' thing. I've decided to share 'Give it away', which is an older chili song, but a goody:



Again, possibly bordering on obscene in places (hmm...what does this say about me??), but showcasing some true entertainers!

Fat Boy Slim

Ok, I know this one technically doesn't count, because he doesn't actually appear in any of his videos, but he manages to get people doing very cool things in them. Like Weapon of Choice (sorry, they wouldn't let me embed this one). If you like Christopher Walken, you'll love this.

And of course, the Foo Fighters

I know what you're thinking; she just put them in because of that insane fan thing. But no, the Foo Fighters make truly awesome videos. it's because they are fabulous musicians that understand the value of a good video, but it's also because they're quite good at hamming it up.

Everlong is a very cool video (if you've ever seen Evil Dead, you might see a couple of familiar scenes), and coincidentally one of my all-time favourite songs. Long Road to Ruin is a very funny clip, and there are many more that are just awesome. Learn to Fly is one of my favourite videos, just because everyone's hamming it up (once again, embedding disabled, you'll have to go to the site if you want to see them). Oh, and dressing in drag. Is that a right of rock passage or what?

Just wanted to add: Oliver and I were just watching some Green Day videos on Channel V, and it reminded me of Sam. Every time American Idiot came on he'd say 'mum, check this out: one of them is moving at normal speed and the others are moving in slow motion!'

It didn't matter that I'd seen the video many times, or that he'd said it to me every time it was on, he still pointed it out! So cute!

I could go on for hours! What are some of your favourite videos?

Fan Time

So, you may have guessed by now that I have a little crush on Dave Grohl, and consequently love everything Foo (Fighters, that is).

I've even recovered from the disappointment of Dave not replying to the email I wrote to him about the impact music (such as the Foo Fighters among others) had had on Samuel's life, when the lovely Chris Cheney did - what a guy!

I'm a little excited at the moment, as they've just released a new single and video:

Rope Get new music videos and MTV show videos on MTV.COM.AU. www.mtv.com.au More from Foo Fighters Watch New Music Videos Watch New Music Videos | Music News
Embed

Which means that a new album is on the way, and possibly a tour! Anthony and I have seen the Foo Fighters 3 times now, and they always put on a kickass show. So I'm looking forward to that!

**Sigh**

Take the bad with the good

It's been one of those weeks of mixed emotion.

I've had lots of nice stuff going on: some inspiring and challenging days at work, Powderfinger concert, and of course Oliver's birthday yesterday. But all of them have been tinged with sadness that Sam's not here to share them.

Sam would have loved the way education seems to be headed (at least where I'm currently sitting!): exciting new collaboration tools; online stuff that makes learning much more relevant and interesting; more autonomy for kids; etc...
We've had Stephen Heppell (an education/technology 'guru') here for the last couple of days sharing some interesting stories with us. As I sat there hearing about wonderful places around the world doing amazing things with education, I was also thinking of how much Sam would have enjoyed visiting these places with me. I miss my travel buddy!

Then, Powderfinger was pretty amazing. It was the first time I'd been to a concert that was being recorded for DVD, and it was so cool! The band was on-form, the crowd was pumped up and having lots of fun.

Oliver's birthday has been nice. I think he's enjoyed it. He had his family party last Sunday, with way too much food (I can't help it, I'm a feeder!); lots of presents and a lovely time with family.

On Thursday it was his actual birthday, with more presents, a cake at school, Goodberry's with his grandparents and then dinner at the club (he wore his suit of course!).

Tomorrow (I started this post on Wednesday but am finishing it on Saturday!) is his other birthday party. I'm attempting a 'Tardis' cake, hopefully I'll be able to pull it off!

It was sad having a family birthday with no Sam. He loved parties (especially the yummy food!), and was always good at entertaining people, getting them drinks and helping out (sometimes under sufferance, but usually without complaint!)

Also, the older Oliver gets, the more he looks like Sam. Not all the time; there's just the odd moment when we really see Sam in him. It's not bad I guess, but it is hard sometimes, depending on our mood at the time.

Anyway, gotta get organised. More later.

My Concert Shirt

I know I've already rambled on a bit about music this last week, but as you know, it's one of my favourite subject to ramble on about!

I've also written before about Sam's love of music, and the wonderful experience he had (Green Day concert) with his Uncle James just 11 days before he died.

Why are these memories rising to the surface again? Because tomorrow I'm going to a concert.

As I have said, Samuel was going to be my new concert buddy; starting with Them Crooked Vultures and then, we think, probably as many as he could drag me along to afterwards. And I wouldn't have minded. I loved sharing music with him. It was one of the things that we had just for us.

So tonight while I was getting my concert shirt out, I started to think about Sam. I was a little sad. I miss him every day, but there are times when I miss him much more. This is one of them.

What's my concert shirt? It's just the one I wore first to Them Crooked Vultures with Sam; but then I wore it again when I went to Groovin' the Moo in May. I'm going to wear it again tomorrow night. It probably sounds weird, but it's like a little part of him comes with me. He would have wanted to go to Powderfinger; he liked them quite a lot, so he's gonna come with me. I get funny looks and probably look a bit strange, but this is one time when I don't care!

I've shown it to you before, but this is what the front looks like:

And this is the back:where I'm going to sew on some kind of reminder of every concert I take Sam to (once the shirt wears out - the photo on the front is already fading). I couldn't get a patch at Groovin' the Moo, so I just sewed my wrist band on!

I should start planning for the long term though - does anyone know a good screen printer?

I'll be back with my Powderfinger experiences later. I'm tired now and going to cuddle up on the lounge with Anthony.

Night Night...

Me me me me

I thought it would be nice to ramble a bit. Here are some things that you might (or might not) know about me; that you probably don't really care about, but hey, it keeps me bloggin', and don't we all love to talk about ourselves?

Music - one of my favourite subjects!
I think I've made it pretty clear that I love music. I love listening to it, talking about it, and even playing it (me and my sax - that's another story for another day!).
I'm not really sure where that love came from. Well, actually people on both sides of my family love/play music, so maybe I do. I spent my really young years with a fairly interesting playlist consisting of showtunes, Barbra Streisand and the odd Beatles/Isaac Hayes/classical/etc song.

When I was old enough to start thinking about it for myself, I didn't. I listened to what top 4o radio told me to listen to, sitting hunched over the radio waiting for my favourite songs so that I could tape them and listen to them over and over again. I'm sure many of you dear readers are old enough to remember tapes; how the start of every song on the tape had the DJs voice over the top!

So my early favourites were pretty standard 80s teenybopper fare: A-ha, Culture Club, Tears for Fears, Madonna etc. Oh dear.

Luckily, I then met Meg, who was the first to broaden my musical horizons. She moved in next door when I was 12, and we've been mates ever since.
Meg loved Metallica and Megadeth and metal stuff like that, and quickly I discovered that I liked it too. From there, I developed a deep love for Guns n' Roses - I even went to see them in concert in 1992 (that's an interesting tale for another day!)

But being the kind of person that I am, I couldn't stay with one genre/artist for long. There was just so much music out there!
By the time I got to college (at 16), I had discovered Nick Cave and The Cure, and loved the darker, more melodic (but not quite as heavy) stuff they produced. I also found The Doors, Queen and Led Zeppelin, all from well before my time, but bands I still love to this day.

In the 90s, I realised that I could like lots of different kinds of music; and I did. I started going to concerts as much as I could. Some of the amazing acts I've seen include The Ramones (great gig!), Soundgarden, Nirvana (sort of - another story for another day!), Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Living End, Pearl Jam (amazing band - not such an amazing gig. Bummer!), Hunters and Collectors, Marianne Faithfull and U2.

My goal now is to go to at least one concert a year. This year, so far I've been to 2 (Them Crooked Vultures and the Groovin' the Moo Festival), with 1 to go (Powderfinger), so it's not a bad effort for 2010!

As you know, my favourite band is the Foo Fighters. I've seen them 3 times now, and they are by far the best band I have seen live. They are recording at the moment, so perhaps a Foo Fighters gig is on the cards for 2011?

Different?
Sometimes even just the kind of music I like makes me feel so different to everybody else. There are a couple of people (now) that I know like the same types of music that I like, but it's different when you're meeting new people, or working in a school where there are mostly people who like pop music (Lady GaGa, Beyonce) or kids who like current top 40 stuff (I guess I can't judge them, I was like that once ;p )

There are other things that make me feel different. Like TV. I just don't like watching it. There's no way I can say this without sounding like a snob, but there's just nothing interesting on there!
Actually, that's not strictly true. I do like Spicks and Specks, and I don't mind a bit of Dr Who with Oliver; but that's about it. If something interesting is on, I'll watch it, but I rarely remember to watch it the next time. People are always lending and buying me TV series, but I can't find the time or the motivation to sit down and watch them!
As for the shows that seem to always be the talk of the town, I don't think I've ever watched one! So I always feel a little left out of those conversations. Not enough to make me want to watch TV though!

Perhaps I should just embrace my differences. Let's face it, less time watching TV means more time blogging!

And that's me for today, enough rambling. But don't worry (I'm sure you really were!). I'll be back! :)

Potty Mouth

LANGUAGE WARNING - This post might contain some cussin'

I just walked into Anthony's shed where 104.7 (a radio station I can't stand because I believe radio stations should be about music, and there seems to be a lot more ads and talking than music on it...but I'm off topic) was playing a song I've been enjoying on triple j for a while now.
It's called F U, by Cee Lo Green (You can watch it on YouTube if you have an account). You can probably imagine what the 'F' stands for. The chorus goes:

I see you driving ’round town
With the girl I love and I’m like
“Fuck you!”
Ooo ooo oooo
I guess the change in my pocket
Wasn’t enough I’m like
“Fuck you!
and fuck her too.”
(etc).

Anyway, on 104.7, they played a version that had 'Forget You' instead of 'Fuck You'. What's wrong with that you ask? Well it changes the whole song!

My problem is this: the song is intentionally a song with swearing in it. What's the point of changing it? I don't really think that more people are going to buy it after hearing it on that radio station - it's the kind of song that will stand on it's own merit (swearing or not).

Censorship really gives me the shits sometimes. It's not that I think that we should expose everything to everyone, but surely there's got to be a point where adults can be treated like adults, and make their own decisions about what they watch/listen to? Sure, some adults make really bad decisions, especially when it comes to parenting, but swearing is kind of the least of their worries!

Anyway, back to what I was originally going to post about.

I was going to talk about Sam and his potty mouth.

Sam, lovely as he was, swore quite a lot. Now, if I wasn't so honest, I'd say I had no idea where he got it from, but the truth is, he got it from us. Both Anthony and I do tend to swear a bit, and we were worse in our twenties, when Sam was in his formative years. His uncle James (who was 12 years older than him) has a pretty foul mouth too; so I guess there wasn't much hope for him!!

He was pretty good about where he whipped it out though, I must say. He didn't tend to swear in public or in front of the grandparents (except occasionally my dad, who also does a little swearing from time to time too!)

He swore when was frustrated about something. I'd quite often hear him in his room, trying to do something in a video game, or playing the guitar or something; you'd occasionally hear him go 'ffuuuuuccckkk', in a very exasperated voice.

He swore to be funny a lot too. As I've mentioned before, Sam loved his comedy, and as you know, many comedians work blue. They just happened to be among his favourites; so of course when he was repeating a joke (or telling one of his own), it included all the words that "I can say because they're part of the joke".

So if we're remembering our Sam, we must remember the warts-and-all Sam. In this case, the potty mouthed one.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, yes Oliver has inherited some of this dubious potential. We're trying to weed it out of him though.

10 Things I'm Grateful For

If you'd asked me 5 months ago what I loved about my world, I'd be hard-pressed to name anything. The all-encompassing sadness that hung over me then (and still does now, sometimes) would have clouded my judgement.

But as hard as this has been for me, I know that Sam would be very disappointed if I consistently took the negative view. I think a healthy dose of positive might be good for me at the moment. Originally, I was going to write this as a Blog This challenge, but had trouble with the whole '10 things I love about my world' concept. So instead I've decided to write about 10 things I'm grateful for.

Anthony
We've been together a very long time (15 and a half years). We've been through great hardships and trials, and we have somehow managed to stick it out. Sometimes I wonder if it's just stubbornness: we certainly piss each other off royally sometimes. I'll never forget the time we had a big fight and I got the shits that he was walking out, so I threw a cooling rack (you know, those wire things you put bikkies on to cool) at him and it went right through the lounge room window!. It occasionally frustrates me that he's not at all romantic; and sometimes he takes AGES to do anything.
But there are also moments when I see clearly how much love and support we have for each other. I know that even though Anthony is not openly demonstrative or affectionate; he is always attentive and interested; I KNOW that he would do anything at all for me, and he is a talented, gentle, caring and generous partner.

Oliver
My little ray of sunshine. He was such a surprise. After 7 years of believing I'd only have one child, he came along. He's gorgeous, funny, sweet and is really 'touchy' (as in he likes to touch and be touched - in a totally innocent and non-sexual way!!) - just like me. In fact, Oliver is like me in many ways: musical, extroverted, fidgety, clever...
He has a beautiful singing voice (but won't let me send him to lessons) and the potential for greatness. He has done such a good job of keeping us all going. Sometimes it's hard to believe he's only 6!

The time I did have with Sam
I only had him for 13 years and 9 months, but they were some of the best years of my life. I've already raved about how awesome, wonderful, kind, funny, generous and talented my boy was. I think you know how I feel about him...

My Family
I do have some wonderfully supportive family members. My mum and dad are wonderful, caring, giving people who I sometimes suspect would do anything for me. Anthony's family are just as great. His brothers are funny, charming, welcoming and always there when you need them. Our extended families are also great at being supportive!

My Friends
As I've mentioned before, I haven't always been good at making friends. So the ones I have are even more special now.
I know lots of people. I've lived in Canberra my whole life, I worked in a cinema for 10 years and I'm now a teacher, so I've met LOTS of people along the way. It's not so bad (remember I do like meeting lots of different people!). But as for friends, I could count my close ones on one hand. The ones I know would drop everything for me if I needed them (and did so very recently).
But that's OK. Because deep down, I know I wouldn't be able to give a big group of friends the time they would need. So I'm happy to stick to the occasional night out with them, so there's more time for Sunday drinks with the good ones!

Music
I love music. I think I've made that fairly clear. From my early, misguided days of worshipping the likes of A-ha and Culture Club to my current, mostly open minded (but leaning more towards rock) and broad preferences.
I love loud music in the home, I love live music, I love playing music (though I don't do that much any more). And I am so grateful that there are thousands of talented people in the world making music that I can listen to.

Technology
There's no denying it. I'm a geek. I love computers and all the fantastic things they do for us. I love that if I want to, I can communicate instantly with anyone in the world. I love that I can take photos and edit them or do funky things to them. I love being able to look at a photo or map of any place in the world. I love my iPhone. I love that I have over 17000 songs accessible at the touch of a button (I know, I know, the quality's not as good, but who cares when all you want to do is hear that song? Right now!)
Yes, there are downfalls (and I'm sure it will make a great blog topic one day), but I am very grateful for technology.

Canberra
I'm grateful that I live in Canberra.
It gets a bum wrap a lot of the time - and people often move away to Brisbane - but it really is a great place. It's green and beautiful (for now!) and the mountains make a very picturesque backdrop. The weather is often misunderstood: it is very cold in the winter sometimes, but most winter days are sunny and clear (in fact it's been said that Canberra has more days of sunshine than Queensland!), and the summers are BLOODY hot! I like that we have definite seasons and the autumn colours are gorgeous!
Much-maligned Canberra is also often accused of being soulless and boring, but if you know what you're doing, there's always plenty to do! It's even getting better the older I get. Not just because I'm older, but because more things happen here now. It might look boring to an outsider (I'm talking to you Bill Bryson!) but it's probably because we don't want everyone joining in. :)
And then there's the "it's full of politicians" line. Well hello, the politicians come from ALL OVER AUSTRALIA!!!

Comedy
It was Samuel that gave me a true appreciation of comedy, although I have always liked funny people. When I was younger, I remember crying with laughter while watching Billy Connolly video (funny guy!). I also had a lot of fun watching the D-Generation as a teenager.
Because I'm such a 'smiley' person, I really do enjoy a good laugh. And sadly, there aren't as many opportunities for a good laugh as there used to be, so good comedy is always welcome.
I'll even pay someone!
We took Samuel to see live comedy shows twice. Once to see The Umbilical Brothers when he was about 9; very, very funny guys. We also took him to see Tripod in November last year. He was just old enough to get the 'adult references', and loved it a lot.
I've talked about how much I miss Samuel's laugh, and perhaps it's because I heard it so much. He loved watching the Comedy Channel; from stand-up to Family Guy to Chaser's War on Everything. He also loved Monty Python (who doesn't?!). And when Sam started giggling, it wasn't long before the rest of us were too.
Sometimes you need a bit of help to get the laugh going. So I'm grateful for comedy.

And a 10th?
Well there are so many things that I am grateful for. There are the big things: living in a free country; my (relative) good health; having basic human rights that are denied to many; having a roof over my head; my job etc. And there are the little things: spring flowers and autumn leaves; coffee flavoured ice cream; my doona; good coffee; the beach...

What are you grateful for?

Made it

Well I got through Mother's Day OK. As with other 'occasions', it is probably the anticipation that is harder than the actual day. I missed Sam a lot, but once again managed to fill my day with great people and fun.

My brother-in-law (along with another of his brothers) and I went to Groovin' the Moo yesterday. We were talking about how we probably wouldn't have gone to the festival in the past. I fear I am getting too old for festivals (I will explain shortly), and although I liked some of the bands who were playing, I get the shits with all the idiots that seem to come along with it.
So, while we both love live music, it probably wouldn't have been something we'd have gone out of our way to do. Samuel would have enjoyed it I think, but I'm not sure I would have even thought about taking him. Of course, while we were there, I kept thinking about how much I wished he was there.

James and I were talking about how we were living differently since we lost Sam. We're taking up opportunities that we normally wouldn't have: such as going to a festival, or going rock climbing and go-karting together (as the big boys did recently). The drinks on Sundays are new...I've talked about all this before, so you know what I mean.
We're sad that it took Sam's death for us to realise what was important (and I wish so much that I'd realised before he died), but we agreed it's good that something positive has come out of it.

Groovin' the Moo
The festival was interesting enough. It was a beautiful day, so sitting around listening to music wasn't a bad way to spend it. We got there early enough to get a good spot on the hill overlooking the stage, and kept it until we got frustrated with people walking over us. But then again, this prompted a move to the crowd in front of the stage, where we stayed for the rest of the night.

The line-up is here, but some of the highlights for me were:

British India - A great set, with a pretty cool cover of Nirvana's 'Lithium' the highlight. They have some good songs, I might have to buy their album. They certainly had my tapping my feet. It was also still fairly uncrowded and relaxed at that stage.

Grinspoon - I've never really liked Grinspoon all that much. I liked a few of their songs, etc, but hadn't thought much about them. I must say I've changed my tune - they put on a really awesome set. They were energetic, played and sang well, engaged the crowd, and played the right songs. I will definitely go and buy some of their albums, and would probably even go and see them again. I was my favourite set.

Silverchair - They started out a bit slow, but finished with a few great songs. Daniel Johns was pissed (or something), and alternated between saying really odd things, berating the crowd for not cheering enough, and playing/singing quite well. There were a couple of songs probably best left for a stand-alone show, but on the whole it was good. I was happy that they played 'The Greatest View', as it was one of Samuel's (and mine) favourite songs.

Tegan and Sara - They played well, and were good with the crowd, but I've never been that into them. Entertaining enough I guess.

Vampire Weekend - I really like some of their songs, and they played well, but there was just something about it that didn't get me moving enough. It might have been because I didn't know all the songs.

Perhaps it was because they played after a really boring set (for me) by Empire of the Sun. My goodness, what a bunch of self-indulgent pap! OK, so they might be musically very great, but I found their set mind-numbingly boring, even with the strangely dressed dancers gyrating around the stage.
Some acts just don't seem to understand that a festival crowd is a bit different. They are a mix of many different people, and you have to play the hits, play music that's going to get people excited. James, Phil and I had moved quite close to the stage for the last few bands, and you really noticed the difference between Grinspoon's set (lots of excited, happy, bouncing people) and Empire of the Sun (people just standing around, walking away etc). I thought Lisa Mitchell's set was a bit like that too. She just disappeared on the stage, and didn't even play her most famous song.

Anyway, it was an OK day. I think I'm getting a bit too old for festivals. I was getting very peeved with all the stupid, drunk, obnoxious, loud people, but I guess that's what a festival's all about. Perhaps I'll stick to just seeing the bands I really want to see.

But it was a good way to spend a day I didn't want to think about too much. Thanks boys.

"All the singlets, all the singlets,"

**Now put your hands up**

This was Oliver's take (performed by him quite regularly last year) on the Beyonce song.
(If you've been living under a rock in the Arctic Circle and haven't heard it, the actual lyric is "All the single ladies, all the single ladies".)

He'd also sing, "If you like it then you should go through the rainforest." ("instead of 'if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it")

Very cute. In fact I think I liked the Ollie version more than the Beyonce version!

He's got a new one. You've probably heard the song 'Paparazzi' by that dreadful Lady GaGa creature? Well Ollie was singing along tonight while we were at Goodberry's. I thought his version was much better!

The original lyric is:
"I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me, papa-paparazzi."

Ollie's version was:
"I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me, baa baa, baa baa black sheep."

I do like a good mondegreen. Sometimes the mistaken lyrics are even better than the real ones.
I've had a few in my life - for a while I thought Pearl Jam sang "glorified version of a pelican" (pellet gun). I can't think of any others at the moment, but I'm sure they'll come to me!

Perhaps you've heard some good ones?
Have you (or anyone you know) sung the wrong words, loud and proud? And did you (or they) sing it right when you knew the right ones?

Wow!

My email's been playing up lately, and I haven't been able to access all of them.
So when I finally got it sorted out today I had a heap of unread messages.

Among the messages was a lovely email from Chris Cheney. For those of you who don't know, Chris is the lead singer, songwriter and guitarist for Australian band, The Living End.
As I have said before, The Living End was Samuel's favourite band. He had all their albums and DVDs, and knew a lot about them. I was hoping to take him to see them live one day. I've seen them a couple of times and they put on a great show.

Anyway, a while back, I sent an email to the management of The Living End, as well as Green Day and Foo Fighters. This is what I wrote:

It would have been nice to get a response of any kind, but realistically these are big stars.

So imagine my surprise to find an email from Chris. I'm not going to share it just yet, but it was lovely, personal and heartfelt.

So thank you Chris Cheney, I've always liked your band, but I now have lots of respect for you as a great person as well.

I can't think of a title for this one

Healing?
Because Samuel died suddenly, unexpectedly, there were a lot of things left undone. And because it was the first week of the school holidays; the week before Christmas, there were a lot of things that involved Samuel.

So instead of having a little bit of time to think about how we would deal with these issues as they came up, there were several to deal with, one on top of the other. And we had to decide - quickly - whether to go ahead or not.

Christmas
Christmas Day was just three short days after we lost Sam. The natural instinct was to curl up in a ball and shut out the world, but we had Oliver to think about. To a six year old, Christmas is everything, the biggest event of their year. We couldn't take that away from him, he'd just lost his brother.
So we decided we'd try to keep it as 'normal' as we possibly could. As many of my friends already know, I'm not a big fan of Christmas at the best of times. So needless to say, I found it very difficult to muster any enthusiasm for the day.
But we did it anyway. As I mentioned in another post, Oliver was over-the-top in his enthusiasm, and seemed to enjoy himself. My wonderful parents brought the whole lunch shebang with them, and we had a few visitors throughout the day, so we stumbled through and it was OK.

New Year's Eve
Normally the week between Christmas and New Year is fairly quiet. Unfortunately we had to hold a funeral in that time. (Some time I would love to share my memories and thoughts about that day, but not today).
Our New Year celebrations in the last few years have been a bit quiet. We had a party a few years ago that no one turned up to (yes I know, lesson learned) and since then have just spent it at home with a good friend or two. In the last couple of years, Samuel had invited a friend or two over, which was nice: too young to drink, but old enough to have good, clean, independent fun.
This year, we decided to revisit a New Year celebration from a long time ago. One that was accompanied by good memories.
When I was pregnant with Sam, Anthony and I went with Sally down to the river. We had a lovely evening talking and watching the storms (I can't remember much else - it was 14 years ago and the intervening years have been quite eventful).
So on New Year's Eve 2009, we packed Oliver and the dogs up in the car and went down there again. Sally and Jack came with us, and we got our feet wet. I won't say it was lots of fun. But it was nice.

Merimbula
Last year, we had a great holiday at a very nice resort park in beautiful Merimbula. The boys and I camped there for a week, and Anthony joined us for a couple of nights (he had just started a new job and couldn't get the time off).

Sam and Ollie on the beach at Merimbula in January 2009

We liked it so much we booked again. It was paid for before summer even started, we were that keen! Samuel loved it there (we had stayed in Merimbula a few other times before that trip). He was a real water baby, and loved the beach.
So when mid January rolled around this year, we had to make the decision: go and have the holiday or cancel it and stay here?
Well we did go. We talked about the pros and cons, and decided that:

1. Sam would not approve of us not going;
2. If we didn't go on this one, we probably wouldn't go the next time;
3. It would be good to get away.

We also decided that we wanted something a bit more comfortable than a tent (and easier to pack up if it all got too much). Luckily we have some wonderful people in our lives, and my parent's neighbours Brian and Keryn (who I've known since I was 12) loaned us their camper trailer. This was a big deal as those things are NOT cheap!
But it did make a difference, we were very comfortable. I think we probably would have left early if we were in a tent. We loved it so much, we are planning on buying one (just gotta save the $18000-odd bucks we need!)

It was hard, especially in the evenings where there wasn't much to do except sit and talk or reflect. There were a few tears (actually there were a lot), but it was also a good chance for us to talk about the good memories we had of Sam. Not having 'regular life' going on around us, not having the TV or the Playstation going all the time, not worrying about work or the weeds in the garden or the pets, just sitting, talking under the beautiful starlit sky.

During the days we kept busy.

We spent a lot of time at the beach or in the pool, and just did things together. We must have collected about a million seashells, as you can see in Oliver's bulging shirt:It would have been better if Sam was there too, but it was still nice. A good way to bring out the smiles...


 Them Crooked Vultures
Another thing that I was looking forward to was going to a concert with Sam. It was going to be his first, but James pipped me to the post when he took Sam to Green Day. Not that I mind, in fact I'm very grateful that he did.
As many of you know, I'm a big Foo Fighters fan, more particularly Dave Grohl, who I think is a very talented musician (and very nice looking too). I also have loved Led Zeppelin for a long time, but was a little young when they toured Australia (actually, I think their last tour was 1972, so I wasn't actually born yet, but I have heard rumours that they are reforming and will tour again!)

As I have talked about before, Samuel and I share a musical bond, and thankfully he liked both of these bands as well. So when I heard that Dave Grohl, John Paul Jones (bass player from Led Zeppelin) and Josh Homme (singer/songwriter most famous for his band Queens of the Stone Age) were forming a band, I was excited.
Anthony, who has been my faithful companion at many concerts and festivals over the years, was not interested in seeing Them Crooked Vultures, but it was too great an opportunity to pass up, so I decided to buy tickets. This was before this band had even released one song mind you; I was basing my judgement on the talents of the other three bands. Samuel said "I'll go, mum", and I thought: what a great idea! So I bought him a ticket.
In the mean time, they released an album, and we both liked it (thankfully) and we were looking forward to going.

So as the gig approached I had to decide (again) whether it would be better to go or stay behind. In the end I decided once again that Samuel would be pretty peeved if I didn't, so I asked James to join me.

We had a good trip together. There are 12 years between James and I, which he never fails to highlight. "It'll be like going to concert with my mum" was one lovely comment. But we did have a good time, and I think I had convinced him by the end of the night that I was cooler than he thought. Mind you, when I was happy to wait 1.5 hours to catch a glimpse of Dave and the others at the stage door, in the hope that I would get to say hi, maybe tell him about Sam (only to have them jump straight into a waiting car and take off without so much as a "Hi"), he may have suspected I have a creepy side. (Wait until I tell you about the emails I wrote to Sam's favourite musicians - I suggest you reserve judgement on my sanity until then, dear reader!)

But it was a great gig. I haven't been to a small gig for a while, and managed a great spot at the front (and off to the side) where I could see Dave play the drums and hear the awesome music too.
There were a couple of teary moments: when the support act finished and the lights came up, I saw all the excited people and thought about how much Sam would have enjoyed the experience. I cried a bit then (James was in the toilet and came back saying "I can't leave you alone for a minute", but was very nice and gave me a hug), and then during Sam's favourite songs "Scumbag Blues" and "Bandoliers" (well they were getting the most playtime on his iPod), I shed tears.

I had made us special t-shirts, with a picture of Sam on the front. I felt very proud wearing it. I had hoped that I would be able to get it signed, but have to make do with a patch I bought. The shirt will be coming with me to every concert now. I'd hoped to take my camera in to document the night, but 'The Band" wouldn't allow cameras. Cameras on phones ok, but not cameras. Oh well.


And maybe the hardest one?
The day Sam died, he and my mum and I were going to go and see "Masterpieces From Paris", an exhibition at the National Gallery of Australia. I had always wanted to see 'Starry Night' up close (it, and the other, more famous 'Starry Night' painting are among my favourite Van Goghs), and was pretty excited about it being in Canberra. I was surprised when Sam wanted to come.
Well we didn't go that day, and for a long time I didn't know if I could. But mum and I went yesterday, and I'm glad I did. It was hard (and they always are), but I'm glad.

It's funny, we've said that for all of these events: it was hard but I'm glad I did. I guess that's what the healing is all about.

Thank you for the music

Not that Samuel would touch Abba with the proverbial barge pole...
No, Samuel had pretty good taste in music. It's a weird thing for a parent to be proud of, but there it is. And it's the subject of today's post.


Sam and I had a lot of things in common. But the thing that we shared the most was a love of music.

Sam started life like any other 'normal' little kid. He loved the Wiggles (I still remember taking him to see them when he was about 3. It was in this little hall in Queanbeyan and it cost about $8), Hi-5 (in their original form) and dancing at discos. They used to have this awesome kid's disco on every Sunday afternoon at the Lanyon Valley Club and he loved it! He'd be up there on the dance floor, having a great time, winning prizes, you know, disco stuff. I know, I know, you're saying "that's not the Sam I know", but I swear it's true. Once he hit about 5 he somehow got the message that this kind of behaviour was terribly uncool, and that was the end of it, but it was nice to see while it lasted.

But there were still some daggy moments
Mind you, this coolness epiphany was not final. At various times throughout his early years, Samuel developed a taste for: The BeeGees (particularly their 1997 hit 'Alone'), Hanson (yes, Mmmm Bop) and even **Cringe** the Hampton and the Hampsters.

Again dad, again!
When he was quite small, Sam developed a passion for the opening credits of "The Drew Carey Show". For a while he was content with seeing it each week, but after a while he'd ask for it specifically. So one week we taped it. Possibly a mistake, from then on he would often watch it over and over again. I think the tape (yes my young y and z genners, video tape) wore out before he did!




But things did improve!
Those of you who know me know that I am a big fan of music. Generally the louder the better. Anthony is pretty much the same. From very early on we used to play our music quite loud, especially on housework mornings or at parties. For a while we were a bit worried, as Samuel would often say 'it's too loud'. This coupled with his love for the above-mentioned daggies was - as you can imagine - cause for some concern.
We started to see signs of a more positive change when Samuel was about 4. About the time that The Offspring released 'Conspiracy of One', Samuel he decided he liked them. I was pretty happy, because I had a few of their albums. Thus began Samuel's education (under my expert tutelage of course!)

A little bit later, I played Samuel a Public Enemy song (the only one I had at the time) He really liked them and bought a couple of their albums. This time he was teaching me. When he was about 7 he really got into Outkast (before Andre 3000 decided there was more money to be had in the acting game), and a little bit later, the Black Eyed Peas (around the time they released Monkey Business). Again, I was a little concerned, as he didn't seem all that interested in 'my music' at that time. But I needn't have worried.

I found this song on iTunes...
When Sam started year 6, I gave him my old computer. I had left all my music on there, but didn't really think he'd get into it. For a while he didn't, his friends were a big influence then, particularly in year six, and he got into bands like Fall Out Boy.
The first band he discovered in my old iTunes was The Living End. They have been his favourite band pretty much since then. I will talk about them another time.
After that, he'd come up to me every few days and say "I've found this song/band on iTunes that I really like", and we'd talk about the music. He'd tell me which songs he liked, I'd suggest more to listen to. They were some great conversations, and one of the things I'll miss the most (Woah, here come some tears).

The favourites?
By the time Sam died, he had a firm list of favourite bands. Led Zeppelin, Foo Fighters (those of you who are aware of my -slightly unhealthy- Dave Grohl obsession will know how proud that one made me!), Faith No More, Ben Folds and Powderfinger were ones he shared with me (among others), but there were also ones he went out and found on his own: Green Day (his other favourite), Metallica, Tenacious D, Rage Against the Machine, Wolfmother and Korn.

And a proud moment for me?
Samuel came home from school one day and told me his music teacher had said he had great taste in music. He said when she asked why he thought that was, he had said 'it's because of my mum'.

Sam at the Green Day Concert. A story for another day.