The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief. ~William Shakespeare, Othello
I have always been one of those 'happy people'. You know, the ones that people tend to smile with but occasionally find very irritating?
When I was younger, my condition was far worse. In my late teens and early twenties I was especially annoying. But, if I wasn't smiling (for any reason), people would immediately ask 'what's wrong?' and make a comment about how I was always smiling.
I did manage to tame my unsuppressed happiness somewhat as I grew older. All the horrors of becoming an adult wore me down a little, but while I was not as 'out there' as before, I was still considered happy by most people I know.
I had always preferred it that way, thinking that it was better to go through each day smiling and enjoying life than always be grouching and moping. I was even known to grumble about people that never smiled, in fact I actually find it difficult to trust or warm to people who never smile.
I have had some pretty tough times over the years, but my attitude seemed to help me get through some of it. I was still known for my optimistic and happy demeanor I guess, but hopefully I wasn't annoying people too much.
I guess my kids liked it too. In 2008 I contracted pneumonia and had to spend a heck of a lot of time in bed. Samuel made this card for me:The best part was the message on the inside:I was sometimes a grumpy mum, but on the whole I like to think that the attitude I kept for the rest of my life was the same I had with my kids. They were (are) pretty happy-go-lucky themselves.
I must say I have done OK at keeping my optimistic and happy personality going, despite this horrible thing that has happened. I wrote about this earlier, and still feel a little guilty for smiling or laughing, but at the same time I still don't see any point moping through the day.
I still find it difficult to trust the non-smilers, but now I understand there might be a reason.
I'm edited this to add an observation: I've just got back from work where I was my usual talkative, somewhat loud and jolly self. I was thinking about that in relation to my earlier post, and part of me thinks that some of this behaviour is a 'front'. I think I've written about it before, but perhaps I don't want everyone to see how sad I am, so I cover it up with loudness. It's like the other problem I have - my low self-esteem and worries about my weight mean that I eat more (go figure!).