Things

Some things I noticed on my travels:

The highway is killing small towns.
I must say, I am very happy that many of the towns along the Hume Highway are bypassed (do you know at the moment you can drive all the way from the NSW/Victoria border to Melbourne without passing through a single town?). It turned the 10 hour/two day trip of my youth to a fairly manageable 6 (ish) hour drive. But in the couple of towns I turned off into (or passed through - there are still three towns in NSW that haven't been bypassed yet), there is a common theme: a slightly shabby look to the shopfronts, as well as quite a few closed ones. Tarcutta was looking the worst by a long way -  lots of boarded-up shops and barely a parked car to be seen. I remember stopping there a few times as a kid, and I definitely remember it as more vibrant. Holbrook is quieter than I remember, but the little craft/antique shops still seemed to be getting a few customers. I wonder how both towns will fare as they are bypassed. I wonder how Albury/Wodonga is going? Although they are probably big enough to sustain themselves.

Many people are completely oblivious to everything around them.
One thing I've been trying to do, especially in crowded streets/shopping centres, is to get Oliver to be more aware of his surroundings. He often walks out in front of people or gets in the way of people with prams etc. He's certainly not the only one! There were so many times when I had to stop walking to avoid fully grown adults that stepped straight out in front of me. And then there are those that walk straight into your photo, or viewpoint (the Tutankhamen Exhibition and the Skydeck being prime examples.

Melbourne drivers are much easier to work with.
In Melbourne, there is heaps of traffic. And the roads are, in places, pretty crappy. And in the city they share the roads with trams. All of which makes the drivers assertive and sometimes impatient, but on the whole, very considerate. Apart from the very quick 'beep' if you stay at the green light too long, I've always found Melbourne drivers most likely to merge well, let you into their lane, and obey the speed limits, even in road works! In contrast, the last 40 minutes of my trip yesterday was almost harrowing, with traffic flowing at least 20km above the speed limit, and aggressive tailgaters all the way through the roadworks (I can't wait for the GDE to finally be finished!). Canberra drivers are spectacularly awful!

You never break down in a convenient place
As I was driving with a cold, my head was a little woolly. After about 2 hours, I was getting very drowsy, and decided to stop for a little nap. Silly me though, I left the lights on, and when I went to start the car again the battery was flat. So there we were stuck at the Lake Mokoan rest stop. Nothing but a toilet and a picnic table. Luckily, the lovely RACV guy got there in about an hour, and we were on our way, but you'd think I could break down in Glen Rowan or somewhere slightly interesting, or with a cafe at least!
It's happened before too. A couple of years ago, we broke down when coming back from Merimbula. Halfway up Brown Mountain. And then there was the time that Anthony and I broke down about 30 minutes out of Cooma. And the time I lost a trailer tire halfway between Cooma and Canberra. I must have the worst breakdown timing ever!


The world isn't easy - but we can't help everyone.
One thing that Oliver noticed and commented on frequently were the homeless people in Melbourne. There were lots of them - mainly older men, begging for change. It was a good opportunity for a talk about the reasons this can happen, and how we can't help all of them (although I try and do my bit, with a donation to Mission Australia each month- they do good things for young homeless people). There was a time when I probably would have put change in each hat that I passed, but I'm a little more cynical these days. I'd be happier taking them to a shop and buying them a sandwich than giving them money for 'food'. It;s amazing how many people step over them though, like they're invisible.


Great architecture and artwork really does make a city better
There's been a lot of controversy here in Canberra about public artworks. But after spending a few days in Melbourne, I firmly believe that the more there is, the better. Melbourne is a beautiful city (I think), and part of that is because of the way it looks. There are some amazing old buildings that have retained their heritage value, but there are also lots of amazing quirky, interesting looking buildings:

 and lots of cool sculpture and street art.

It really does make the place look interesting. There were so many people (including me) taking photos of artworks and buildings, surely it's good for tourism too. We need a few of them in Canberra...

Do I have to come home?

 

This is what I see when I look out m hotel window.

It's not the traditional 'Melbourne City View', but it's still a nice one. There's the markets, a tram that wanders by every 20 minutes or so, the big container cranes, and in the distance, the big pillars of the Bolte Bridge.

I like Melbourne. Very much. If I had to live in another city it would be this one. When I asked Oliver if he'd live here, he said 'yeah! there's so much more to do here!'. Then he mentioned that he'd miss the family. Bless him. Damn families, stopping us from doin' stuff! ;p

We've had a pretty great time. For the first four days, we stayed pretty close to Eric and Karen's place (where we were staying). We visited my Grandpa a few times - he went to hospital for a night while we were here, so we went and visited him there too, we went swimming with my aunt and cousin (Oliver loved the wave pool), and I even managed to fit in almost a whole day of relaxing on the couch.

Which is probably why my body decided to let me get sick!

I haven't been sick in quite a while, but on Monday, I woke up with the definite signs of a cold. See, I just shouldn't have relaxed! Because today, I've got to drive home, and I'm feeling less than wonderful. It's going to be a loooooong trip...

Nevertheless, we've packed a lot in to our three days in the city.

On Sunday when we arrived, we went to the Queen Victoria Markets, where Oliver drained my wallet and I picked up some yummy olives and things (which ended up as my dinner!). Then we went down to Federation Square to the 'Art of the Brick' exhibition, which was pretty amazing:

This thing was HUGE! And made completely out of Lego!

 

We wandered through the town, ending up at the midtown Myer store's toy section (surprised??), which is pretty cool, with lots of Lego models, and too much Lego for sale!

And that was only Sunday! On Monday we went to the Melbourne Aquarium, which was cool (if not a little overpriced, I thought), the highlight of which was the gorgeous penguins (sorry, don't have a photo yet). Then, in a slightly cheeky move, we went at had some lovely fish and chips down on the Docklands. There is a great new shopping precinct there, but by this time, Oli was footsore, so we headed back up for a rest, briefly showing our faces down at Melbourne Central (about 350m away from here) for dinner.

Yesterday, we went to the fabulous Melbourne Museum (again, no photos yet!). It is a very well put together museum with some fascinating exhibits, like the taxidermied (not a word, I know) Phar Lap and the wonderful indoor 'forest', where I was very excited to get up close and personal with a satin bower bird and his blue bits (such a bird nerd!). 

We also saw (after nearly 30 minutes of queuing) the Tutankhamen exhibition, which was fascinating, but probably over priced and over hyped for what it was. I was hoping for Tut's mask or at least his sarcophagus, but it was interesting to see some of the treasures he was buried with.

Wednesday's adventures didn't end there. We then walked down to Eureka Tower (one end of town to another). We'd been there before but Oli was keen to go again, and I wanted to see it all by night. It was very spectacular, despite the low cloud that came in every few minutes, at one stage completely obscuring our view!

Oliver was exhausted by this time, so we jumped on a tram which took us almost to the door, and tucked in for an early night. 

This morning, I've promised Oliver a buffet breakfast in the hotel's restaurant, then we begin the long trek home. I have a feeling it will take me a little longer than the trip here, but that's OK. It's been nice.

Road Trip!

Oli and I are heading off on a road trip tomorrow.
Early in the morning, we're going to jump in the car and start the long drive to Melbourne.
We'll sing at the top of our voices, drive with the top down and whistle at girls as we cruise past....

Or something similar. I'll let you know how it all turns out!

What do you do when you don't know what to do?

My little boy is hurting. I think.

I told you a little while back about the tears when we told him Merlin was going to die (who, by the way, is still well and truly alive. And nearly 17 in people years!)

A couple of weeks ago, his teacher called me, and said he'd 'changed'. That he was 'flat', and not as chirpy as usual.  That he was regularly drifting off, and not snapping back to attention like he used to. That he was being a bit more 'silly' and 'naughty'. Mainly following others (how like my boys!), but still, somewhat out of character.

He's also lost some of his energy. He's more inclined to want to watch TV or play a video game than to head outside. Some of this is the horrible cold weather we're having at the moment, but I'm always looking for other signs.

Granted, he's been sick lately (the flu kept him at home almost a week), and seems to be still a bit flat after that (with big, worrying black circles under his eyes until a couple of days ago), but always in the back of my mind is that it's about Sam.

Which is fair enough, yeah? I mean, it's only been 18 months (last week) since we lost Sam. And Oliver was a lot younger then. I'm still having trouble understanding it, I can't even imagine how Oliver's processing it.

And the bizarre, tragic, pointless stuff doesn't stop either. Never do we get a chance to say to Oli 'everything's OK. No one's going to die today', everyone's OK.

Last week, a good friend of Anthony's mum was in a freak accident. Something you would never imagine happening. She's now on life support with little prospect of recovery (and no prospect of healthy brain function). Of course Oliver sees how this has affected his grandmother. How could he not? His cousin is also in hospital with complications (I'm assuming) from his recent epilepsy diagnosis. A kid in the class next to his has been in hospital for the last few weeks with collapsed lungs and goodness knows what else.

It's terrible that a kid so young has to see so much death. So much pain. So much grief. But how do you shield them from it? You just can't!

So what do I do? I told Oliver's teacher that I wasn't too worried if he fell a little behind. Which is kind of true. I've always thought that primary school was more about developing kids as people (social skills, communicating etc), so I can handle it if he's a little behind on his reading or maths. Plus I'm a teacher, so I can catch him up if necessary. But what can I expect from them in terms of mental health?

The school counsellor's not an option. They are only in schools once or twice a week, and Oliver doesn't really have an identifiable (by testing) special need, so it's not likely the counsellor will be able to do much.

She also referred me to the school chaplain. At first I baulked at that, because I'm an atheist, but she assured me that they had a non-religious approach to working with kids. So I'm thinking about that.

I think what I'll probably do is take him to my GP. Get him checked out - the full works. Perhaps from there a psychologist? I don't know.

But in the mean time, I've organised a special trip. Just for him and me.

In the holidays, we're going to drive down to Melbourne. We had a fairly nice time there last year, and I wanted to see my Grandpa, so I took some leave and decided to take him down. During our trip, I've booked a hotel near the city for three nights, so we can do some touristy stuff, like the zoo and the Tutankhamen and Lego exhibitions, and just hang out. The two of us. Days busy doing the running around, but nights at the hotel watching movies and playing cards. With no distractions. Just me and him.

Because a lot of how I react to Oli's situation is guilt. Guilt because I'm at work every day, and taking on study and gym commitments; which I know are good for my mental health, but I feel guilty about them because I'm not 'here' for Oli.

It's not like he's all alone. I mean, Anthony's here with him all the time, and he does a good job of it too. But still I have the guilt. It's probably not rational (and I know I shouldn't worry about Anthony thing, because he's not the same man that he was when he and Sam were in this carer situation - something I may write about one day), but it's there.

So to compensate, I do what I do best: overcompensate.

Still, I think it will be a nice trip. It will be nice for us to hang out, to talk (6 hours in a car together kinda promotes conversation), to do some mum/son things. I'm looking forward to it. I think he is too. Let's hope it helps. Even if just a little bit.

Last of our holidays

For a brief moment, I ummed and ahhed about posting about the rest of our Melbourne trip. Part of me was thinking 'who cares?', but then I remembered that I wasn't really writing this blog to entertain everyone else, I'm writing it as a record of my thoughts and experiences.

I do very much like it that people are reading my blog. It makes me feel good to know people look for it (and that they're not just my parents - much as I love that they read it), and I love it when people make comments. But in the end, I am writing it for me. So I guess there will be times that no one cares about what I've written but me.

Our trip to Melbourne was bittersweet I guess. It was really great to see my Grandpa (I know some people might find it weird that I was so enthusiastic about seeing an 84 year old, but I really quite like him). I also go to see (most of) the rest of my Melbourne family, and do some touristy stuff, but it was also really hard being away from home. In the past, I've always been reluctant to leave anywhere after a week, always wanting to stay that bit longer, hold onto my holiday as long as I can. But this time I was ready to come home after about 4 days. It was mainly because I missed Anthony and wanted to be with him.
Maybe it was too soon to go for so long, and it will change over time, but I was so ready to fly home this morning when I got up. Then Anthony called to tell me about a dream he'd had (a nice one about Sam) and I burst into tears. I wanted so much at that moment to be there with my arms around him.

After that I was a bit of an emotional mess. Oliver and I dropped in and had lunch with Grandpa, then we drove out towards the airport. These days I am pretty confident when driving around Melbourne. When we arrived, I managed to drive all the way to Grandpa's, and then to Eric and Karen's without a map. I can get to my more frequently visited haunts quite easily, and with a Melway, can usually find my way anywhere. But this morning was different. I somehow managed to miss the exit and ended up on the Westgate Bridge, which as you might know, is a massive bridge that is nowhere near on the way to the airport. Because of the state I was already in, I nearly lost the plot. I had a bit of a panic attack, stopping in the shoulder while the traffic whizzed past, and just sat for a moment. (Oliver stayed calm, thankfully). Luckily, a sense of calm came over me and I managed to get myself turned back around (and had my first trip over - and back over - the bridge).
Perhaps Sam was giving me a bit of a hand? He used to be my navigator when we went to Melbourne, and had had his share of a frustrated mum going 'just read the map!', which at age 8 or 9 is a tricky prospect, especially given Melbourne's size and funky plonking down of roads.

So, the Melbourne trip. We had been doing 'touristy' stuff for the last few days. The Victorian government (in their infinite wisdom) had decided that it would be a terrible shame for Easter (or more to the point, the Easter long weekend) to be celebrated outside of school holidays, so Victorians had gone back to school just as we were starting our holidays. While it made it hard to see our family (and friends), it also meant that many of the tourist attractions were nice and quiet. And the weather was magnificent! Unseasonably warm, but lovely nonetheless.

On Tuesday Oliver, Karen and I went on Puffing Billy. It really was a lovely ride. Not too many people, and a perfect trip through the beautiful forests of the Dandenongs. It was the perfect activity for Oliver: a noisy, smoky train and a ride where he could sit and dangle his arms and legs out of the carriage. He enjoyed it a lot.
Yesterday, we went up Eureka Tower.
Now, if you know me, you'll know that I'm not real good with heights, so I was a little nervous.
Because Eureka Tower is bloody high! It's apparently the highest viewing platform in the southern hemisphere. It's 88 floors up and my ears popped as we hurtled upwards in the lift. At first I found it difficult to get close to the windows, but after seeing Oliver's enthusiasm (head pressed right up against the glass: "Those cars look like toys!"), I relaxed and spent a lovely couple of hours gazing off into the distance.
I think that Eureka was one of my favourite activities. Funny that something so mundane as a very high building would entertain us both for so long, but there you have it.

And then today we flew home. Apart from the Westgate debacle, it was a perfect flight, and we were both very happy to see Anthony in the baggage collection area.

I'll go again. Probably sooner rather than later. It was great to see everyone, and Oliver really was a good travel companion. I'd still like to see the west though (particularly beyond the end of the Westgate Bridge), and I am keen to 'do' the Great Ocean Road and see the 12 Apostles before they all fall into the sea. But next time, I'm going to actively lobby for Anthony to come.

So how about some interactivity? What's your favourite part of Melbourne, and have you ever gotten lost?

zoo boo be doo

Yesterday we went to the zoo. I had given Oliver the choice of activities, listing all the possibilities, and he chose the zoo. It surprised me a little, as Ollie tends to be more a beach/playground kind of kid than a zoo kid (Samuel was the animal lover).

We caught the train from Ferntree Gully Station, which - if you know Melbourne - is a pretty long train ride. But Oliver handled it well. Then we caught a tram to the zoo (you can't go into the CBD and not catch a tram!) and spent an awfully long time wandering around.

It was a actually a pretty good day for the zoo. Apart from the hundreds of school kids on excursions, it was pretty quiet, and the animals were quite active. We saw the cute baby elephant, Mali, and the orang-utans were putting on a great show for us. There were a couple of monkeys carrying babies, the penguins were very cute,the lions were eating, and even the snakes were moving! Oliver was particularly amused by the gorilla that was picking its nose and then eating it.
We seem to have a bit of luck with the gorillas at Melbourne Zoo. When we took Samuel there as a baby (just over one I think), there was a baby gorilla there. We took Sam up to the glass and told him to give the baby a kiss. Sam made a 'kissing face', and then the baby gorilla did the same thing. It was so cute!! Of course we didn't have a camera handy, but it's a memory that has stuck with us for a long time. I thought of it when I watched the gorillas. It was a little sad.

After the zoo we caught the train back to Flinders Street, and caught the end of a fire juggler's performance in Federation Square. He was particularly taken by the funny looking building next to the road (the metallic one with the LED signs going in all different directions).
We walked up to Melbourne Central and found a couple of lolly shops to waste money in, then caught the train home. We were lucky (?) enough to get on the most crowded train in the world, and I thought we'd have to stand up, but luckily a wonderful mum offered Ollie the seat next to her. It was an interesting trip, but I think it was a good way for Oliver to experience the big city.

It's the first real 'touristy' thing we've done. Oliver has been pretty happy just 'touring the playgrounds': We went to Caribbean Gardens on Friday, which has a pretty cool playground, and then the playground at Maccas, and then on Saturday we went to an amazing playground just behind Stud Park Shopping Centre. Oliver's in his element when he can climb, and he hadn't really been feeling 100% (a bit of croup I think), so it was good to do things that weren't too taxing.

We spent the weekend visiting family, which was really lovely. On Saturday we saw my uncle Greg and his very lovely family (his wife Julie is a wonderful brave soul, and his daughters are so smart and interesting). Then we went to Frankston to walk along the beach and watch the sunset. Frankston has a bit of a funny reputation, but I think the beach is lovely.On Sunday we visited my aunty Michele, and her family. It was nice to see her husband Micheal, who I haven't seen for years. Her daughter Sarah was fairly close to Sam (even though they lived so far away), as her birthday was the day after his (but a year earlier), and they kept up with each other on MSN and Facebook. Then we visited my aunty Karren. She lives with my uncle Brendan on a beautiful bit of land a little way out the east, in a place called Neerim South, and we spent a lovely Sunday afternoon out there seeing them and my cousins. Every time I go somewhere like that, I really want to move to the country. It was so beautiful!

Well, we're off on a ride on Puffing Billy today. Should be fun. It's been a nice trip. I think we could have gone back a bit earlier, but it's nice to relax somewhere else. Luckily my uncle Eric and aunty Karen and their kids Calvin and Chelsea are wonderful, friendly, welcoming and relaxed, so we feel very much at home here.
It's also been pretty expensive! I thought it would be much cheaper with just me an Ollie, but we seem to be going through just as much money! I must admit, I wanted to buy Eric and Karen some wine, and I'm cooking them dinner tonight, because I get the 'guilt' thing, about staying too long (it's a genetic thing I think, I get it from my dad), so some of my money is going to good use. A lot of it is the car I guess, but it is nice having it here.
Oh well, I don't really mind. These days for me, it's all about experiences. You can't put a price on a good time, and Oliver and I are certainly having that!

"I like this place, can we move here?"

We were about to drive over the Bolte Bridge when Oliver made this statement.
I must admit, I have had the same thought myself a few times in my life.

I do like Melbourne. It's huge, occasionally stinky and the weather is downright weird sometimes (a friend of mine referred to it as 'Gotham City', presumably because of all the cloudy/rainy days), but it's good-looking (especially the CBD I think - with all the funky buildings, tree-lined streets and interesting street art), the people are (on the whole) friendly, there are nice beaches, and almost anything you could need or want to do is available.
Plus a great deal of my family lives here.

Don't despair my lovely Canberrans, I'm not planning on moving any time soon, but if I had to make a move to a big city, it would definitely be Melbourne, and not Sydney or Brisbane.

Back to Ollie's statement. I think the basis of his comment was the look of the city (check out this photo, taken by an online acquaintance of mine, and you might see what she saw), but also the big yellow and red thing that stretches out over the road and the 'tunnel that's not a tunnel' (sound tube) we had just passed through.

As we drove around the city, heading for the Burnley Tunnel and the east, he was continuously amazed by the big-city-ness. There was one building that looked like it 'has a boat on top', and when we drove around next to it, he said 'they must have taken it down and moved it'. I think he was joking...
There was a 'DFO that's much bigger than the one in Canberra', and he liked the Hilton building with the offset windows.
Then he wanted to know where all the houses were, because all he could see was big buildings. But by the time I got through the tunnel traffic and out towards the east, he'd fallen asleep!

The plane ride was good. All morning (and some of the night before), Ollie had been saying "I'm excited and nervous". I'm glad he was talking to us about how he was feeling, once again that shows his maturity.
We got to the airport (almost) late, it was about 40 minutes before the flight time, so everything was kind of rushed. We checked our baggage with the world's most unfriendly customer service officer, and then pretty much boarded. I think the plane left early too, because I'm sure we boarded around 1pm and the plane took off not long after (it was due for departure at 1.25pm).

Oliver was a bit nervous when we were taking off - he grabbed me pretty tight as we lifted off, and he was tensing up as the plane banked or bumped a bit. He was asking about the noises of the landing gear etc, but other than that, he was OK.
Once we were up he had fun fiddling with the radio channels and eating the lunch (egg salad sandwich and yoghurt) they gave him. And if you've ever flown from Canberra to Melbourne, you'd know that was pretty much it, as then we started descent.
Oliver was much better on the landing, even though we had to descend through clouds (which I reckon is a bit freaky sometimes). He had some problems with his ears, and one was still blocked about an hour later, but I think he's got a bit of a cold/croup, because he woke up yesterday with a cough and had almost lost his voice by last night (this morning he's OK, but a little croaky).

The best moment in the airport was when Ollie dropped his skittles and they spilled all over the luggage conveyor. It was a little splash of colour!

When we went to pick up the rental car, they didn't have any of the tiny car (Hyundai Getz) that I'd booked, so they upgraded me to a Lancer instead. The car is very nice and comfy (Ollie was quite taken with the backseat cupholders), but was a little tricky at first, as it is one of those autos with the +/- thingy in drive, so I had to get used to that.

Still, we got away all right, and I managed to find my way all the way to Grandpa's (Keysborough), and then all the way from Grandpa's to Eric and Karen's (Rowville) without looking at a map! Pretty good, huh?

Grandpa looked old. For the first time ever I noticed his age. But then again he is 84. He was surprised but happy to see us, and it was nice to see him and talk to him. Ollie of course was bored within minutes, but that's to be expected, even Grandpa said so!
He has had a few injuries lately, but is still getting about. Much easier with a walking frame (which he said he'd strongly resisted for a while), but he has always been very active, so I'm glad he's still mobile.
The best thing about Grandpa is his mind though, and he has always been very good about keeping it active. He and Grandma (who died in 2008) were very big on crosswords and puzzles as they got older. I admire how they kept challenging themselves and learning, even when they were in their 70s and 80s. They are great role models. I really think the worst thing about getting old would be to just 'stop', and sit there waiting for death or whatever.

Anyway, it's nice to be here. I'm letting Ollie dictate what we do (apart from the seeing family stuff), so at some point we'll go to the zoo. As for today, we haven't decided yet.

Off to Melbourne

Oliver and I are going to Melbourne today.

I haven't seen my Grandpa for a while, as he wasn't able to make it to Sam's funeral, so I have been very keen to get down there and see him. My mum's 5 brothers and sisters are down there too, so we will hopefully be very busy while we are there.
I would have liked it if Anthony could come, but he's busy doing our renovations. And when it comes down to it, it's my family, so I don't really mind.

It will be Ollie's first time in a plane (I wasn't going to drive down there if it's just the two of us - it's a very long way!), so I decided to make it an adventure for him.
I've booked us on Qantas, because they do little snacks and stuff, and will hopefully make him feel a little special. And I've bought him a couple of magazines and colouring books.
At first when I mentioned it, he said 'I'm not getting on a plane', but he changed his mind and we booked it. Last night he said he was a bit nervous, so hopefully he won't get upset or anything.

Well, I haven't finished packing, so off I go. I will post while we're down there.