It's funny, our situations are so different in many ways, but there have been many times in the last few months when things happen almost exactly the same way, sometimes at almost exactly the same time for both of us. This was one of them.
Kate wondered how she was going to sign cards and letters now that one of her kids is no longer with her. I had the same dilemma yesterday, so when I read her blog I got a real sense of deja vu.
Yesterday I was writing a card for a lovely neighbour of mine who has just had a baby. I was stumped about how I was going to sign the card. In the end I just signed it 'Mel, Anthony and Oliver. xx', but as soon as I'd given it to her I started thinking about what I should have signed for Sam. I was going to blog about it too; the guilt I felt and how I wanted to go over with a pen and change it (I haven't).
Of course, since I read Kate's blog, I've been thinking about it even more. Luckily (I think it was also thanks to her blog and the comments that followed) I think I've come up with something.
I've told you the story of the dragonfly, and how it has become an important symbol for us. It's obviously touched a few people, as I keep receiving lovely dragonfly-related items: My lovely new sister-in-law painted this for Sam's birthday:
One of our close friends bought me a cute dragonfly bookmark:
And my cousin (well, Anthony's cousin's wife) dropped a cute dragonfly magnet in the letterbox:
It gives me a lovely warm feeling when this stuff happens.My mum and dad are no exception. They went away recently, and when they came back, along with a couple of dragonfly stamps;
and a magnet, they had bought me a dragonfly shaped paper punch.
It's a lovely little thing, and I think it's just right for the job. I'm going to buy some orange stickers or contact (orange was Sam's favourite colour) and put one on each letter or card I send from our family. I think (for now) it's a good solution. So if you receive a card or letter from us that includes this little fella, that's why.
Hi Mel,
ReplyDeleteWriting that post was one of the best things I've done since losing Olivia, in terms of getting things out of my head and finding solutions that give me some comfort. The suggestions from others who've walked this road before were wonderful. I'm going to go on a hunt this week for a butterfly/angel stamp (whichever one feels right at the time) in the craft shops. The idea of NOT writing her name just felt horrible and all wrong, yet I know I can't write her name on everything forever. I'm glad you've found something that's just right for you and Sam xxxxxxxxxxxx