365 Grateful - 7

Day 7 - January 7 2014

Work in progress...

Today I'm grateful for having already started my Masters. I receive my academic record today in the mail. I started my Masters in Education back in 2011, but after a semester was a little disillusioned by the university I had chosen. Mistakes in the unit outline, ineffective feedback, etc etc. So I pulled out.

This year, I'm taking on an exciting opportunity as I have been seconded by the University of Canberra to convene one of the units in the Bachelor of Education. A very exciting job indeed. And while I'm there, I have the opportunity to do my Masters. HAving already done two units means that maybe I won't have to work myself too hard (only a little bit hard!). So today, I'm grateful for the head start! 

365 Grateful - 5 & 6

Day 5 - January 5 2014

Date Night!

One of the reasons (I think) that Anthony and I have lasted together so long (apart from pure stubbornness!) is that we regularly take time out to do something together. Concerts, movies, dinner. Time with just the two of us...

Last night we went out for dinner at one of our favourite restaurants, The London. We ate outside (another thing to be grateful for - summer evenings!) and watched the silly Summernats folk wander around, all sunburnt and loud.

Then we went to the Dendy Premium Lounge to watch The Hobbit - Desolation of Smaug. It was our first time in the premium lounge and it was certainly a different way to watch a movie. The seats were very comfy, and I loved being able to have a beer and have a choc-top delivered halfway through, but it was also too comfortable, and because we were out past my bedtime, I found myself nodding off, like I would if I had been watching it at home.

It's also really expensive! Both the tickets and the food! Still, it was a nice experience (courtesy of a lovely friend that gave me the tickets for my birthday), and the movie wasn't too bad (I have to reserve judgement until I've seen it again fully awake!). So I'm grateful for that!

Mmmmm...Blueberries!

I'm grateful for berries. The sweet you can have when you really shouldn't be having sweets! I picked these today in my garden and I'm looking forward to enjoying them! As I've posted before, we love growing food and there's nothing like eating something out of your own garden. Berries are my favourite and they're so easy to grow! I'm grateful for berries today!

365 Grateful - 4

Day 4 - January 4 2014

Sh'Bam Feet!

One of the things I'm most grateful for is Sh'Bam. I discovered Sh'Bam in April 2011 when I attended the second class held at my local gym. From that class on, I was hooked! I did the class about three times a week and lost 25 kilos doing it. Then I decided that I'd like to become a Sh'Bam instructor. I did the training in April 2012 and since then I've been taking tracks during other people's classes. I had just got my own class when I fractured my knee last October, and I hadn't done a class since until last weekend. And then yesterday I managed to teach a few tracks.

I love Sh'Bam because it's energetic and a great cardio workout, but also because it's LOTS of fun. The songs are catchy and the steps are easy to pick up, and the instructors that I work with always have lots of fun mucking around and hamming it up. The participants love it and so do I! Without Sh'Bam, it's very hard to stay motivated to keep fit!

365 Grateful - 3

Day 3 - January 3 2014

Pandora

This is my Pandora bracelet. I know that everyone has one, but the thing I really love about them is the fact that everyone's is different. I had a lovely charm bracelet when I was young, and this brings back nice memories of it, but I also love the fact that every charm tells a story, funnily enough of all the things I'm grateful for! This is the story of my Pandora (from bottom left):

• Jarrah bead - Anthony made this for me. He had made one earlier last year that was lovely but too big. So this one was made in honour of the original Jarrah bead. 

• Butterfly - this is one of those 'BFF' charms. I have half and the other half is with my best friend of 25 years, Sally. 

• Stars - My mum and dad gave me this one. Maybe 'cause I'm a star (or have my head in the stars)

• Pink birthstone - This is the birthstone for October; the month that both Anthony and Oliver were born.

• 'Oliver' spacer - This is a spacer that has 'Oliver' engraved on it.

• Green bead - Anthony bought me this to remind me of him (like I need prompts!). Green is his favourite colour.

• 'Tree of Life' - This is a lovely gold and silver charm that my parents gave me for my 40th birthday. It speaks to me in so many ways: joy of life, love of nature, renewal, growth... Lovely...

• Silky Oak bead - this is another one that Anthony made for me. He knows that Silky Oaks are my favourite trees, and my favourite timber!

• Turquoise birthstone - this is the birthstone for December. The month I was born.

• Purple charm - Anthony bought this for me. Purple is (one of) my favourite colours.

• M - fairly self-explanatory!

• 'Samuel' spacer - This is a spacer that has 'Samuel' engraved on it.

• Tiger stripe charm - Orange was Samuel's (and is Oliver's) favourite colour. Samuel also loved tigers.

• Black birthstone - This is the birthstone for March, the month that Samuel was born.

• Blackwood bead - This is another one made by Anthony. He loves blackwood.

• Dragon - Anthony bought this for me. I love dragons, and used to collect figurines.

• Lego brick - I put this one on. It tells the story of my new adventures in Lego, and the wonderful new friends I have made because of it!

365 Grateful - 1 & 2

I've been wanting to start up the blog again for a long time, but couldn't think of a sustainable way to do it. A while back I mentioned that I'd like to change the blog to a celebration of the good things in life, but I still couldn't figure out a way to do that so that I could have something regular to post. Luckily, I came across this post on Upworthy and I thought that a 365 Grateful project would be a great place to start.

I've toyed with the idea of a Gratitude Journal, but 365 Grateful is a quick, easy and visual way of celebrating the good things in life. The idea is to take a photo of something I'm grateful every day and post it here. Kinda like an online photo album of all the things that make me happy in 2014. I'm almost positive I won't post every day, but I will take a photo every day, and put it up here when I can. If you like this idea, why not have a go yourself?

Day 1 - January 1 2014

Sparklers!

Who doesn't love sparklers? They cost hardly anything and they're one of the last 'mildy dangerous' things that kids can play with (you've seen me rant about the Government sucking the fun out of everything!). And they look so pretty when the kids are waving them around!

I love anything that sparkles. While I'm not a huge Christmas fan, I do love Christmas lights, and make an effort to put some up each year. Perhaps I should take a picture of them!

Day 2 - January 2 2014

Fingernails!

I've never had nice nails. They are thin and weak and bend backwards instead of curving nicely. For my 40th birthday in December (I'll post about that soon), I was given a voucher for one of those nail salons. I'd thought about doing it, but had been told that it would wreck my nails so I was a bit cautious. Well, when I got the voucher I figured that they couldn't get much worse, so I trotted off on my birthday and got (my very first) pedicure and a set of acrylic nails.

Well they're great! They look so much nicer, and I haven't been able to pick at them or bite them (or the skin around them), so they stay nice. Yesterday, I went and got them 'filled' (this could be the part that's not so great - and perhaps expensive!), and they are even better! The fellow (yes, fellow - Oliver was gobsmacked when I said a man did them!) spent ages on them; he did a great job and they look much more real and natural now. 

It's my little bit of feminine, and I like them very much!

Time to start talking

I was speaking to a colleague the other day, and suddenly I realised that I can now start talking about Samuel. About his death, about the lessons I've learned since then, and about the improvements that I've made, to myself and to my life.

If you'd asked me three and a half years ago what positive things would have come about from Samuel's death, I reckon I probably would have told you to get stuffed. Probably with the addition of slightly more colourful language! Don't get me wrong, I'll never completely recover from it, and I'll never see it as a positive event, but I now have enough distance that I can reflect on it all.

I've talked before about the personal improvements that I've made, and I probably will some more, but in the end, I don't think they are the kinds of stories or lessons that people are interested in. What I'd like to share are the lessons I've learned. The lessons that I had to learn the hard way. The hardest way.

And the one that I spoke to my colleague about is work-life balance.
Before Sam died, I was pretty happy being a teacher. At least I thought I was! And I was doing that job pretty much the same way that all teachers do: busy days at school with lessons, duties, meetings, marking, extra-curricular activities; as well as extra work done at home, on weekends and in the 'holidays'. And I was one of the less 'organised' of the breed! My classroom was sometimes messy, my planning and marking wasn't always up to date, and my displays were occasionally tatty (or completely created by the kids!). The teachers that did all these things worked even harder than me! But that's another rant.
Before Sam died, I was OK with that. I loved teaching and I loved the impact that I had on the kids every day.

Afterwards, when I finally went back to work, it wasn't the same. Of course, there was the concept of spending a good deal of my time looking after other people's kids, that to this day is one of the reasons that I haven't gone back to a school.  But I also realised just how much of my life I'd missed while I was working so hard. There was so much regret about the things I hadn't done with Samuel because I was exhausted, or busy marking, or on camp/concert/whatever.

About 6 months after I returned to school, I had the opportunity to apply for the job I'm in now. Moving from a school to an office based position was hard in one way, as I was not working with children any more. Plus I was leaving the wonderful community environment that a school is, but it was also a revelation! I could leave when my day was done. And if I didn't get it all done, that was ok, because the work was still there the next day. I didn't have to abandon it because it was time to organise the next day's work. Best of all,  I could go and watch Oliver in an assembly or actually sit down long enough to digest my lunch. I could leave in enough time to get to the gym before dinner, and I could get home with enough energy (and time) left to cook a nice meal and relax for a while (without falling asleep on the couch!).

It was this realisation that helped me make the decision that I won't (at least for the time being) go back and work in a school. It means that I've turned down some great opportunities, and I do miss certain aspects (camp!), but I'm generally pretty happy with that decision (for now).

And I find myself becoming almost evangelical about work-life balance. Because lots of people (especially teachers!) don't have that. They spend too long working and miss out on too much LIFE.

As I said to my colleague (who actually does have a good work-life balance), coming to these realisations shouldn't be the result of a life-changing and traumatic event. Wouldn't it be better if people figured it out before they were forced to?

And that's why I've decided it's time to speak up. I don't want to shock people or dump my issues on them, but I would like people to know that there's more to life than working yourself into the ground. It's cliched, but we only get one shot at life, and it's a shame to waste it. If I can share my experience with others, then maybe I can help them.