Hot Cross Buns Recipe

**Sorry about the font size. I've tried resizing a few times, not sure what's going on!

I got the recipe from Thursday's Canberra Times. They have a liftout 'Food' section, and it had a big article on hot cross buns. Apparently this recipe came from the Flute Bakery in Fyshwick.

Mine were OK, but I think I got the yeast wrong (not enough) and they didn't quite rise enough. I would have also preferred that they were a bit 'fluffier', but it could have been that I used plain flour instead of baker's flour, or that I did too much mixing.
But they tasted great. And there was LOTS of fruit in them which I love. I hate those wollies ones that have three sultanas and that's it.
Straight out of the oven with a little bit of butter. YUM!

Flute Hot Cross Buns - Mel's Version
800g baker's flour - I used 6.5 cups (I've got a little book called "The Essential Kitchen Companion" that gives me cup/gram conversions)
100g caster sugar - I used a heaped 1/3 cup
16g salt (3 teaspoons)
16g dried yeast (I read this wrong - it was midnight) and only put one sachet
240ml water (almost a cup)
200ml egg - I used 3 large eggs
4g mixed spice (1 tsp)
300g softened butter
6ml orange oil or fine zest of an orange (I used zest)
200g sultanas
200g currants

Mix the flour, sugar, salt, yeast, spice, water and egg well. Add butter in stages until well incorporated. Add fruit and mix well. Cover dough and leave in bowl 30 mins until it starts to rise. Divide into 70g pieces (small balls). Leave to prove until they are the size you want (mine didn't rise much).
Brush with warm milk (mixed with a little sugar) and put on a cross (below) if you like. Bake 175C for about 18-20 minutes. I brushed the milk on them again when they came out and sprinkled a little bit of cinnamon and sugar over them.

The Cross:
I mixed up a paste of flour, water, a little butter and a little sugar (my paste was a little runny). I put it in a snaplock bag and cut the corner off, then put crosses on some. On the others I just cut a cross with a sharp knife.

Here they are:

Easter? Nah...

Can you believe Easter is here already?

Not that I'm all that big on Easter. I've never been all that interested (except when I was a kid and chocolate was EVERYTHING!)
In fact, if it wasn't for the fact that I bowed to popular opinion and refused to risk having my kids ostracised at school for not believing in Santa/Easter Bunny, I would not celebrate either 'holiday'.

As it is, both are fairly low-key/non-traditional around here.
I go for a minimalist approach at Easter; occasionally hiding eggs, but that's about it.
Our Christmas tree is a grass tree dragged in off the deck (which strangely enough died this year, not long after Christmas), and we try to place more of an emphasis on people, not stuff. This does not always work, as one of my favourite things is giving people gifts, and I love to see the look on my kid's faces when I spoil them (but hey, I don't think Christmas is the only time I do that!)

I've never really got Easter. I know the story of resurrection etc, but I'm not really sure where chocolate and big white bunnies comes into it. As an atheist, I always feel a little uncomfortable celebrating Christmas; as it seems a little hypocritical. But Easter doesn't even seem to be celebrated as a religious holiday - more of a commercialised/obesity promoting day...

So, unlike Sam's birthday, and Mother's Day (coming up), Easter doesn't pull too many heartstrings for me. I'm sad of course (that never goes away), and enjoyed using him as an accomplice in the hiding eggs game, but it's not one of those 'holidays' that I anticipate for weeks ahead.

Having said that, tomorrow I am going to (try to) make some yummy home-made hot cross buns, and I think that will be the thing that gets me.
Why?
1, because Samuel loved hot cross buns, and
2, because Samuel was becoming a great cook. And I think this is something we would have done together.
We'll see how it goes.

Also tomorrow we're going to meet up with some family/friends, and have a egg hunt and fish dinner. (No, I don't normally stick to fish on Good Friday as a rule, we're just doing it because it's a good excuse to have a get together with people we love).
Samuel would have enjoyed that too. Despite being a teenager, he always enjoyed time with the family. We all miss him.

Teenagers

On a blog that is now required reading for me, I've just been reading about a wonderful act of kindness by three teenage girls. This blog is now set to private, the girls took the time to pause their travels and care for and comfort some children who were injured and upset.

What these girls did was amazing and selfless and brave.

And it got me thinking about how great teenagers are, and how little we (by 'we' I mean we as a society) recognise that.

I am well aware that a great deal of the blame for that rests with the media, who love a good tale of teens out of control: teen joyriders, teen hooligans, teen party animals, reckless teens, violent teens, teen vandals....you get the picture....(do a Google search on news+ teens, and you won't get too many 'feelgood' stories, that's for sure).

For a while now, I've been contemplating a move to high school teaching. Most of the people I know are fairly supportive, but many people make comments on how hard it would be to work with teenagers, how much attitude they give etc.
In my experience, a 10 year old can give as much (of not more) attitude than a teenager anyway!

Take Samuel for example. He was a bit of a ratbag, yes, occasionally bad-tempered, sometimes rude, often cranky, but he was a nice kid. Even when he was cranky or rude, he generally found a way to make up for it later. And really, it wasn't that often. And when thousands of strange hormones are running through your body, of course you're going to be a bit 'odd' (just ask any woman in their childbearing years!) And he had certainly 'mellowed' a hell of a lot by the time he hit high school! In fact, I'd say that his most horrible years were firmly based in primary school.

Sam had time for everyone. He chose his friends based on common interests and comparability, not popularity. He was funny and smart and optimistic. He could write well and was good at science and maths. He was a talented mimic and good at music. He went out of his way to help people and willingly spent one night a week with his nanna. He took on the responsibility we gave him willingly. He did as he was asked to do. He put up with a couple of workaholic, stressed, slightly crazy parents with good humour and grace. He followed the rules. He persisted with things that were hard (most of the time).
He was just a wonderful kid. To not have seen the kind of teenager he would have become is just criminal. Though I can make a pretty good estimation.

I get a glimpse of what he could have been through his friends and peers. Some of the things they have said about him confirm everything I had hoped he would be. He was such a good friend to them.

And then I see some of the things they do and it gives me hope. Why just tonight as I finished reading Kate's blog, I logged onto Facebook and saw a photo of Sam in my news feed. One of the lovely girls in his friendship group had taken a photo of him, added a poem and some lovely edited touches. Of course it brought me instantly to tears, but I thought it was just beautiful.

These kids constantly amaze me with wonderful gestures like that. And I can't help but think that if these kids, and Sam, and the girls in Kate's blog can be like this, then surely there are a whole heap of other teens that are just the same?

I'm not stupid or idealistic enough to believe that every teen in the world is wonderful and faultless and 'savable', but as long as I know there's a few, I know that the world's probably going to be OK. Hey they might have faults and make mistakes, isn't that what being a teen is all about? At least their faults and mistakes generally don't affect lots of people.
Come to think of it, I don't know a whole lot of adults who are wonderful and faultless, do you?

So I'd like to put it on the record that I think teenagers are OK. And the more I think about it, the more I think that high school is where I want to be. Yes there will probably be times when I think 'what the hell am I doing?', but who wouldn't want to be in on the wonderful roller coaster that is adolescence?

From "The Funny Times"

Sunday afternoons on the deck

Disclaimer: this post was written at the end of a lovely day of company, with a few alcoholic type bevvies involved. Please read it with that in mind...

For about the last, oh, I dunno, 8 weeks or so, people have been dropping in on Sunday afternoons for a drink with us. I have really come to relish and look forward to those afternoons. Sally and I had been doing it for a long time before that (usually Saturday - and sometimes as well as Sunday!), but lately other people have been dropping in.

From about 2pm each Sunday, people come around and have a drink, a chat, and sometimes something to eat with us (usually cheese and lots of yummy things like that). Our front deck is kind of perfect, as in summertime it's shaded and cool, but in wintertime the sun streams in (we have three huge grapevines covering it, which lose their leaves in the winter).

The company is always wonderful. We have fantastic conversations with groups of people that sometimes would never be together in the same place. What a great way to pass an afternoon, and forget your trouble for a while.

There are two hard things: knowing that Samuel will never be able to join us, and knowing that it probably wouldn't be happening if he hadn't died.
It's not that we weren't sociable, or that we didn't see people, because we did, but maybe not so regularly. You know how it is, you get busy doing pointless, repetative stuff that you have to do every weekend (I mean stuff like shopping, cleaning, work, not useful stuff like sports and other socialising), and then all of a sudden it's Monday again. Same old cycle begins.
We all try hard not to - we try to see each other and make time for each other, but life just gets in the way, doesn't it?

Well, I've resolved that it won't get in the way any more. As much as time (and finances) permits, I'm going to make time to share my time with the people that mean something to me. Because I don't want to go to their funeral thinking 'I wish I'd seen them more often'. I remember vividly when my mother-in-law's friend had a son who had a big role in a stage show a long way away. He didn't think he had the time or the money to go and see him perform, but she said something that has stuck with me since then. She said to him "you'd go to his funeral, go and see him now!"
Every time I start to think that way, that's the thought that runs through my head - and it's why I'm seriously considering a trip to Melbourne in the holidays to see my family.

I know that I have always tried to fit everyone in, but people and experiences have sometimes slipped through the cracks. Sometimes family, sometimes friends, sometimes even my own kids. And now, I know that my priorities have changed a heck a lot. And I'm glad that these Sunday sessions are the result of that. It's a testament to my new commitment to enjoying people and enjoying life that they go on, and that people keep coming, and that I make time for them. I know it might sound a little selfish that they're always coming to me, but it works for now (and we've got a fairly kid-friendly house - soon to become more so), and in the future I might start going elsewhere. Who knows??

In the past, I would have willingly done all the chore-type stuff, then spent most of the weekend working: marking work, assessing, writing reports, planning, reading etc. But I'm happy to say I'm not prepared to do that any more. I used to read (and hear) a lot about work/life balance, but really, I had no idea. Being able to spend a whole weekend playing board games and chatting with my son; gardening; socialising, and sitting on my deck on Sunday afternoon is work/life balance!

Thankfully the job that I am doing this year means that I can do this. Because I am working in a 'release role' (on paper as the teacher/librarian, but in reality something completely different!), I don't have to worry about marking, assessing, reporting, planning (as much). Any thought I had of seeking promotion is definitely on hold for now, and I'm enjoying working to live, not living to work.

When I started teaching (after finishing my degree), I thought it would be something I would do forever. I do love the job very much, but the workload that goes along with it (that I have cheerfully put up with for the past 4 years) is not something that (having seen where my priorities should lie) I am prepared to do forever.
As I've said before, it's too soon to make these types of decisions, but I do know that this is the most relaxed and happy (?ish?) I've been (while working) for a while. Not that I'm bludging - I still work hard (not sure I could do otherwise), but not for as long, and not as over the top.

But as for Sundays, they are wonderful. I love sitting and talking with people, it's one of my favourite acitivities! I'm so glad that people keep coming, and I hope it doesn't stop.

So if you're in the neighbourhood on a Sunday afternoon, we'd love to have you...

Look what I made!

I spent most of yesterday afternoon creating a HUGE photo collage. I'm very happy with it, except that when I picked up the glass to put back in the frame, I picked it up in the wrong place and it snapped!
You can't see it until you're close, but I was very pissed off with myself!

How are you?

What a question.

Why do we ask it? Is it because we really want to know how someone is? Or is it just small talk - an easy way to start a conversation? It's become such an automated question/response that it really seems pointless sometimes.

Not that I'm a paragon of conversational perfection. Quite the opposite: I'm afraid that I'm a fairly terrible conversationalist. I'm not quick enough for witty replies, I can never remember jokes, I often think of something I really want to say while someone else speaking and then butt in (before I forget it), the things I think to say almost always sound better in my head, I think of the perfect thing to say much later than I needed to think of it (but still butt in), I tune out (sometimes)...etc. I'd much rather write it all down, edit it, then present it to someone.

Having said that, and in my defence, I'm a very good listener when I need to be!

But 'how are you?'. Has there ever been a more hollow enquiry? I know I've been guilty of asking 'how are you' when I don't particularly care to hear the answer. But I've also known people who have given me their life story when asked.

Sometimes I wonder why people ask me how I am. I lost my son three months ago, how the f*** do you think I am??
And yes, sometimes I do get the impression that they don't want to hear how I actually am. They just want to hear "OK" or "Good, and you?".
I have a standard response now, terrible that it is to do so. I say "up and down". It pretty much describes my life lately, and it covers both 'how are you?' scenarios.

Because sometimes I think that if I say 'good, and you?', they'll be thinking; 'she seems to have gotten over it, phew!', or perhaps 'she's so cold, she's got no right to be "good", she's just lost her son'.
But if I tell then how I really am (sometimes I actually am 'good' by the way), i.e. sad, grief-stricken, missing Sam; then they'll think 'oh god, she's going to go on and on about it' or 'gee, this sadness is making me uncomfortable'.

So dear reader, what do you think?
Do you ask 'how are you' because you care, or because conversational etiquette demands it? Do you care?

When's the right time to break in and change the subject?
Or should we just be blunt and say 'I don't really want to know how you are'.

(Don't get me wrong, I do like it when people ask, I'm just curious about its place...)