First, an update

As you know, my life's not generally as exciting as that of the glitterati, but for a normal person, I've had some cool stuff going on this year. So first things first, a quick update. The year in pictures:

In March, I bought a new car:

Her name is Ruby Scarlet, and she's just lovely.
We were also due to go ballooning in March (on what would have been Sam's 16th birthday), but it was too wet. But we did go one foggy morning in April:

If you've never been in a hot air balloon, can I suggest you try it? It's a truly wonderful experience!


Of course, it wasn't all fun and shiny red cars, I did have to work. But, oh, that's right. I have a very cool job. We do some interesting things:

In April I also did my Sh'Bam instructor training. And then I went to Sydney and did Sh'Bam with 300 super-fit hotties!

And then in May, I went to Melbourne for a dear old friend's 40th. And I saw Prince. He was very cool.

Then we went to Sydney and walked across the bridge.

And swam  in a rooftop pool in the rain:

We bought some goats:

(They're gone now. They were a bit stinky! And they needed more room - and edible trees - than we could give them!)
We walked up some mountains:

And we played with Lego. In Sydney and in Canberra:

And most recently, in Milton:

(We'd lost Wally. But lots of people found him. I'll tell you about it sometime).

 And we welcomed a new member of the family:

Meet Rollo!

So yeah, all in all it was good. Good, yeah.
And before you ask, yes. I did have a nice year. And spent a lot of money. And was lucky enough to do some really cool things with my family. And that's what life (and this blog) is all about now.
I'm sure I'll get to tell you more soon. I hope you'll join me!

Melology

I need a break from the heavy stuff. I found this on another blog and it reminded me of how much I used to love filling out these types of things, and reading other people's responses. When I had penfriends (I had lots of them between the ages of about 16 and 24) I used to send them these types of surveys all the time. So here's mine...

Rules: YOU! Yes, you, reading this. You're tagged. Now that you know more about me than you ever wanted to know, play the game, it's fun! Let others know a little more about yourself, repost this as your name followed by "ology."

FOODOLOGY:
What is your salad dressing of choice?
I quite often have my salads undressed. But if I had to choose, I'd say good ol' Italian.

What is your favourite sit-down restaurant?
I don't get out much, but La Porky's is always OK. Well, except for the time I got food poisoning after I ate there. But I've learned not to eat the seafood there.
Oh, Sammy's Kitchen, Sunny Kitchen and Chairman and Yip are all pretty nice Chinese.

What is your favourite fast food restaurant?
Sumo Salad.

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Ice Cream. There are so many yummy flavours you could eat a new one each day for two weeks.

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Lots of vegies and CHILLI!!

TECHOLOGY:
How many televisions are in your house?
3, but only 1 of them is ever on with any regularity. Usually tuned to Foxtel's music channels.

What color mobile phone do you have?
Black

Mac or PC?
Mac. Love my Mac!

Could you live without it?
Yes. Actually no. I'd need music (and maybe the internet!) But I could live without TV! Does that count?

BIOLOGY:

Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right. I always wanted to be a lefty 'cause it's different. My mum is and my grandma was (along with some other relatives).

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
My wisdom teeth. Oh, and my two lovely babies. Sad to say I didn't push either of them out by myself.

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
Oliver. He's at least 25 kilos these days. Feels like twice as much when he's sleeping.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Nope.

Have you ever fainted?
Nope.

Active or Couch Potato?
When I'm in the mood/habit: active, though I still seem to manage to pack on the weight, even when I'm exercising madly/daily.

BULLCRAPOLOGY:

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Not sure. Yes, so that I could tie up loose ends. I have resolved to live a full and happy life so I'm hoping I wouldn't have to suddenly run out and do all the things I'd always wanted to do (OH goodness, I can tell this will be a future post) but no because I'd always be anticipating it.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
I wouldn't. Actually I already kind of have. Nobody really calls me Melanie any more. Except maybe my grandpa.

How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
3. My goodness, that's extravagant for me!

Last person you talked to?
Anthony and Oliver (simultaneously).

FAVOURITOLOGY:

Season?
Late Spring/Early Autumn. I love it warm enough to sit outside at night and go to the beach, but cool enough to be able to do stuff.

Holiday?
I guess that means 'celebration'. Not a big fan of any of them, but I do like birthdays.

Day of the week?
Sunday. Especially now that people come over and have drinks with us in the afternoons.

Month?
Used to be December. Now I'm not so sure.

Color?
Purple.

Drink?
Bourbon, Vodka, Beer. Oh god what does that say about me?? I do love mango smoothies and I do drink a lot of water. Really I do!

Alcoholic?
Oh whoops. Already answered that.

Music?
Foo Fighters (I think you all knew that!)


CURRENTOLOGY:

Missing someone?
Yep. You're familiar with that story.

What are you listening to?
I'm not good at doing one thing at a time, so at the moment I'm listening to/watching 'Grand Torino' while I'm writing.
Currently as in not right at this minute - a lot of Foo Fighters, Them Crooked Vultures, Led Zeppelin.

What are you watching?
As above.
If I'm not answering about this minute, I don't really 'watch' anything. The only show I really try to watch regularly is 'Spicks and Specks', but I haven't even got my act together enough to watch that every week. I'm not a big fan of TV. Will watch it if it's on, but don't go out of the way.
I do like watching music videos and movies.

Worrying about?
Going back to work. Actually I'm not worried about that, more about all the things I was going to do (but haven't) while I have been on leave.

What's the last movie you saw?
At the movies? Avatar.

Do you smile often?
A qualified yes. I am renowned for my smiley disposition, It's just been missing a little bit of late.

If you could change your eye color what would it be?
Hmmm...No. Well, maybe green.

What's on your wish list for your birthday?
Not sure how I feel about my birthday now. I'd like a nice little block of land (or perhaps 20+ acres) near the coast.

Can you do a chin-up?
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Excited I guess. Things can't get much worse.

Have you been in a car wreck?
No, only a couple of small accidents.

Have you caused a car wreck?
No.

Do you have an accent?
An Oztrayan one perhaps.

Last time you cried?
Friday.

Plans tonight?
Watch (sort of) this movie. Bed. My life is a thrill a minute.

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Yep.

Name three things you bought yesterday?
I actually didn't buy anything. That's not bad for me.

Have you met someone who changed your life?
Yep. Samuel. I think I've explained how.

For the better or worse?
Better.

How did you bring in the New Year?
I've posted about this. Down the river with Sally, Jack and my boys, then here.

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Yep. To the 21st of December 2009.

What songs do you sing in the shower?
I don't, but Oliver does a great job:

Have you held hands with someone today?
Yep. I like that Anthony and I hold hands almost every day. After 15 years that's not bad.

Who was the last person you took a picture of?
My very clucky son holding my lovely (nearly) 4 week old nephew.

Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
A little bit of both. I have wonderful friends that I have known for around 20 years, and others I have known 2-5 years.

Do you like pulpy orange juice?
Yes. The pulpier the better.

Last time you ate peanut butter and jelly?
When I went to the U.S in 1990. I like bananas (or honey) with my peanut butter.

What were you doing at 12 a.m. last night?
Sleeping. I was a little tipsy (OK, I was more than a little) when I went to bed, so it's a good bet that I was sound asleep.

What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
I wonder if I have a hangover. (No, I didn't).

Thanks Pundelina for this little bit of fun.

The Power of Friendship

Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things. ~Author Unknown

Ok, I know the title is hokey, but I'm sure you get the idea.
I've just spent another lovely few hours in the company of friends. We have a wonderful family, on both my side and Anthony's side. They have been so wonderful through all of this, and I will talk about them another time. Today I'd like to talk about friends.

For the past few weeks, with the exception of last week, we have been joined by our friends (and sometimes members of our family, who also happen to be friends) each Sunday afternoon. We drink (wine, bourbon, beer, water, coffee, etc), eat cheese and crackers and other lovely things (today our wonderfully gourmet friends brought some lovely trout and caperberries. I'd never tasted them before, but they were goooood!), and we sit and talk and laugh. It's almost become a tradition!

Today, my best friend Sally came over with her son Jack. We started at midday (it was 5 past 12, so it's technically afternoon!) and had a good gossip and a drink. A little while later our good friend Dallas arrived, then our friends Kylie and Gordon and their kids. Not long after that Trevor arrived. Not everyone stays the whole time, but while we're all together we have great conversations and everyone gets along, no matter what the background, or whether or not any of them have met before.

There's something very healing in that. I've always been a people person anyway, and my idea of a good time involves great conversation. It's also very nice to have the company. I think when you're grieving, there could be a real risk in withdrawing into yourself; blocking the world out. And we were probably tempted to for a while too. But there were people that kept calling, kept dropping in and making sure we were OK.

In the week leading up to Samuel's funeral, there were always lots of people around. It was nice, but in a way, a bit overwhelming. In the week after, there were a few, and then the week after that, almost nobody came around. It was a little scary, a little lonely. When we were here alone, the reality of what had happened was almost too big, too much to bear. Then people started to come around some more. It wasn't a constant, seemingly never ending flow, but it wasn't nobody either.
Before Sam died, we probably weren't the most sociable people. I was always so tired (physically and emotionally) by the end of the week (one of the few downfalls of the teaching profession), and we've never really had the disposable income you need to go out and socialise regularly. I was also pretty happy to spend time with my kids and Anthony. I do love people, but most of the time it seemed easier to see them here. I didn't have to organise babysitting, there's plenty here for kids to do (well, boys anyway). It sounds selfish, but when I couldn't do things here with people, I didn't tend to do it at all, unless it was something really special. When I think of it, I guess that's fairly normal in our busy world.

That's another reason why it's been great that people have come around. The casual nature of the Sunday afternoon thing means that people can drop in for a little while, or for longer. It's been so good to to see people, do some normal things, and not have to go too far from the little comfort zone we've got going on here. And it's not like we don't think about Sam, or talk about him; we do. On our terms. We talk about him, we share memories, we get upset, but we also talk about other things. And laugh.

But just because we're enjoying our Sunday afternoons, it doesn't mean we're never going to leave the house. Last weekend, I went out on both Friday and Saturday night with some of my oldest friends. Mark and Donna live in Melbourne now, and came up for the weekend just to catch up with friends. On Friday night we sat outside King O'Malleys with our other old friends Gerard and Toby (and his partner Swapna) for a very long time drinking beer and talking. I drank WAAAAY too much and ended up with a sore head, but what a great night it was.
On Saturday night, all of us, as well as Anthony, Helena, Geoff, Tan and Kris (who was visiting from the U.S) went to dinner at Chairman and Yip (then move on to some other places), and once again had a lovely evening.

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. ~Elisabeth Foley

The great thing about these friends, is that it doesn't matter how much time passes, when we get together it's like we've never been apart. I haven't seen Mark and Donna since my 35th birthday party at the end of 2008. I haven't seen Gerard since October of the same year. But we had a great night. And they have been there for me, supporting me, through this whole time.

I'm not real good at the whole friendship thing. I like people, and I like spending time with people, but my problem has always been that I like knowing lots of different kinds of people. It was a problem at school because at school you're supposed to have your core friends and spend all your time with them. It's a problem now because I don't have the time to devote to maintaining these friendships. Life gets in the way, doesn't it?

So against all the odds, I do have a few fantastic friends, some of them I only see once a week or once a month or once a year or once every 5 years, but they are true friends. And in some ways it's thanks to them that I can see some good left on the world. That I can see we can still have some fun and not feel guilty about it.

So thank you, to the friends who have been there for us. Thanks to Sally and Dallas and Meg, who were so wonderful in the first week, and have continued to be caring supportive friends. Some of the things you did for us were so above and beyond what a friend should have to do, and you did them without question.
Thanks to all our wonderful friends who sent cards and messages and came to Samuel's funeral. If I haven't sent you a card yet, I will. Thanks to Aamund, and Keiko, who helped Dallas and Meg support us. Thanks Keryn and Brian for lending us the camper trailer. Thanks Paul and Mahala for sharing the camper trailer and helping us get it organised. Thanks to Trevor and Adina, who have been here keeping us company and sharing their beautiful Izzy. Thanks to Jodie, who went out of her way many times to feed us, cheer us up, give us things, especially the dragonfly (another story for another day). Thanks Carmen for being so supportive and helping out, even when we haven't seen each other for so long. Thanks Maree for being here for us when you and Jake and your family were grieving as much as we were. Thanks to Lani and Vickie and Kathy who have always been there for a chat and a laugh (and to show me their wedding photos). Thanks to Jane for sending me a card (from India!) and coming to see me. Thanks to Kris for sending flowers from California (no Australian customs, she didn't actually send them from there), and for coming out to dinner last week. Thanks to Phillipa and Jason for being there for us, and for calling to check up on us. Thanks to Kylie and Gordon for feeding us, but also just being there (and for a great afternoon today!) Thanks to Donna and Mark for travelling all the way from Melbourne to Canberra to see us. Thanks to Gerard, Toby, Swapna, Geoff, Helena, Tan and Kris who came out for a fun night in the town. Thanks Deb for your messages, your constant facebook/blog support and for bringing your beautiful Emily over to see me. Thanks Michelle for the lovely 'I love you'/'I'm thinking about you' messages. Thanks Ania for the company and the ice coffees. If I've forgotten you, I'm sorry. And if you're in my family, don't feel left out. I'm trying to work out how to say all the things I want to say to you.

Without you all, I hate to think where we'd be. Thanks.