Well thank you.
What a lovely response I've had so far. It's encouraged me to go on.
I talked to my friend (my rock) Sally today, and she said if I was going to blog then I should be completely honest and write down all my thoughts. I had a feeling I should be doing that anyway, but it's always good to have some confirmation.
But this is a sensitive and tricky subject, so if you're reading this and see something that you don't want included, please let me know. I thought about changing names, but I'm not really sure what purpose that would serve.
I've showed it to Anthony, and while it's probably hard for him to read some of it, he agreed that I need to grieve my way, just as he needs to grieve his way. From the beginning we made a pact to communicate and respect each others needs. Communication hasn't always been our strong point, but after 15 years we're kind of working it out. Anyway, while public sharing might not be his style, he has given his blessing for me to do so. Thanks my love...
Be prepared for an onslaught during these first few weeks. I've got some time off work, and Oliver's gone back to school. And this is going to be a major part of me remembering and getting stuff together for some tangible memorial items (scrap book, photo book etc - more about these later). I really don't mind if you don't read every word, but a nice comment (like the lovely ones posted so far) would be really lovely, just to keep me going.