Sunday, February 7, 2010

To blog or not to blog?

Yeah, I know, corny title, but it is the question I've been asking myself.
Isn't grief supposed to be a private process? Aren't I supposed to keep my sadness to myself?
Who wrote the rules on grieving anyway?

What's this all about?
Samuel (my beloved first born son) died in his sleep about 6 weeks ago. I don't know why yet, and probably won't for a long time (his death is the subject of a current inquest). He was a healthy, active, vibrant 13 year old boy with his life ahead of him. I can't make any sense of it, and in a lot of ways, I still don't accept that it has happened. I mean, I know that he's gone, I saw his body, but I still expect him, or someone to say "nah, we were just kidding".

Back to the subject of this post
I'm a talker. Whether it's verbal or written, I've always talked through my problems. I've started keeping a journal to put down my thoughts during this whole grief thing. Then I got to thinking, wouldn't a blog be a good way of not only getting my thoughts down, but also of recording my memories of Sam and sharing them with the world. Samuel was a pretty amazing kid. He wasn't famous, or extraordinarily talented, but he was great. Why shouldn't I share that with the world? I guess I could create a website, but I don't have the time to maintain it, or the money I guess. But blogging is cheap, easy and I can incorporate anything I want into it.
But haven't you blogged before?
Well yes, thanks for asking. And I did OK too, for a while. The I got busy and it dropped off. Plus I ran out of things to write about. Not to mention the fact that many others were blogging (much more effectively I might add) about the same subject.
Who knows, I might do the same thing again, and if I do, I do. But is it not worth trying?
Samuel has 2 Facebook pages dedicated to him. Neither were created by me. One is a group that was created by his friends on the day he died (they were nice enough to include me as ad admin), and the other is a fan page. They are great, and a good way for people to remember and honour Samuel, if they are on Facebook. As strange as it is for me to believe, some people are not on Facebook. So perhaps a blog? I guess you probably have to join blogger, but it's probably less taxing than taking on a Facebook account.

So, dear reader, what do you think? Would you read a blog dedicated to Sam? I'll try a few posts and see how it goes...


  1. good idea mel. I didnt know Sam, but i recognise him... he was very much like you when we were growing up.

  2. Mel, I love it. Means I can connect with you more often than I do (but would dearly love to). Meg.

  3. Great idea Mel. Keep it up.

  4. I think it's a lovely tribute to Sam and I look forward to reading more - you write really well:) Anna W

  5. Hey Mel, Laura here, I love this idea, Sam deserves to be spoken about lovingly and this is a way to do it and like you said a way for you to work through the grief.

  6. Dear Mel, I think you're very brave and being true to yourself by expressing your grief in a way that suits you. I believe that part of the process of working thru grief is to express it, and expression can take many different forms. So many people believe grief is something that should not be talked about ...your sharing may help others to face their unprocessed grief. You're a shining light...much love to you, Leila


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