I have a very long and intimate connection with depression.
And that's why I know I'm possibly on the way there...
After Samuel was born, I suffered from Post-natal depression. It wasn't severe, and I recovered quickly (it wasn't even until afterward that I knew what it was).
A bit later on (but before Oliver) I had proper, diagnosed depression, but once again, it wasn't too serious. I was never medicated or anything, just made aware of it.
Then, just last year, a counsellor told me I had 'depletion depression' - that is, depression caused by being a 'super mum' and being all things to all people.
And then of course, there's Anthony's depression. Not something I'm particularly interested in rehashing here, but back in 2006 we went through a pretty rough time when he had a fairly serious breakdown.
So I guess you could say that I'm familiar with depression, and all that comes along with it. I know how it feels, and I know how hard it is to live with.
So when I started feeling sad, worthless, listless, hopeless...(etc) I knew that I'd probably be better off paying attention to my mental health.
So I'll go and see a doctor this week. Don't worry readers (especially you mum and dad!), I'm aware of it, so that's gotta mean something, doesn't it?? This is, after all, an honest representation of my life (and my grief journey), so I do need to be honest, don't I??