Potty Mouth

LANGUAGE WARNING - This post might contain some cussin'

I just walked into Anthony's shed where 104.7 (a radio station I can't stand because I believe radio stations should be about music, and there seems to be a lot more ads and talking than music on it...but I'm off topic) was playing a song I've been enjoying on triple j for a while now.
It's called F U, by Cee Lo Green (You can watch it on YouTube if you have an account). You can probably imagine what the 'F' stands for. The chorus goes:

I see you driving ’round town
With the girl I love and I’m like
“Fuck you!”
Ooo ooo oooo
I guess the change in my pocket
Wasn’t enough I’m like
“Fuck you!
and fuck her too.”
(etc).

Anyway, on 104.7, they played a version that had 'Forget You' instead of 'Fuck You'. What's wrong with that you ask? Well it changes the whole song!

My problem is this: the song is intentionally a song with swearing in it. What's the point of changing it? I don't really think that more people are going to buy it after hearing it on that radio station - it's the kind of song that will stand on it's own merit (swearing or not).

Censorship really gives me the shits sometimes. It's not that I think that we should expose everything to everyone, but surely there's got to be a point where adults can be treated like adults, and make their own decisions about what they watch/listen to? Sure, some adults make really bad decisions, especially when it comes to parenting, but swearing is kind of the least of their worries!

Anyway, back to what I was originally going to post about.

I was going to talk about Sam and his potty mouth.

Sam, lovely as he was, swore quite a lot. Now, if I wasn't so honest, I'd say I had no idea where he got it from, but the truth is, he got it from us. Both Anthony and I do tend to swear a bit, and we were worse in our twenties, when Sam was in his formative years. His uncle James (who was 12 years older than him) has a pretty foul mouth too; so I guess there wasn't much hope for him!!

He was pretty good about where he whipped it out though, I must say. He didn't tend to swear in public or in front of the grandparents (except occasionally my dad, who also does a little swearing from time to time too!)

He swore when was frustrated about something. I'd quite often hear him in his room, trying to do something in a video game, or playing the guitar or something; you'd occasionally hear him go 'ffuuuuuccckkk', in a very exasperated voice.

He swore to be funny a lot too. As I've mentioned before, Sam loved his comedy, and as you know, many comedians work blue. They just happened to be among his favourites; so of course when he was repeating a joke (or telling one of his own), it included all the words that "I can say because they're part of the joke".

So if we're remembering our Sam, we must remember the warts-and-all Sam. In this case, the potty mouthed one.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, yes Oliver has inherited some of this dubious potential. We're trying to weed it out of him though.

All in the family...

Well my dad is now blogging. It was only a matter of time, as he's a great writer and has lots of stories to tell!
Better lift my game though....

2 Weeks In

Well, I've now done two weeks at my job, and I must say, I'm really enjoying it!

There are many more challenges, and lots of new things to learn, but also so many opportunities to improve my skills and do really exciting things. It doesn't hurt that the people I work with are all really nice. They put up with my idiosyncrasies (I did give them a week's grace, but the weirdo Mel is starting to shine through!), and they've all been very patient and helpful.

Of course, it's not going to be without its challenges. It is going to be very busy, with lots of work to do, and there are a whole lot of new skills (and new software) that I have to learn, but for me, that's a positive, because I love learning new stuff!

It's nice to be in the 'front end' (I won't say forefront, because I think education still has a bit of catching up to do) of these big technological changes that are happening to education. I might even get back to writing in my other blog!

Oh, go on!

You guys have gotta stop telling me how great I am!

I'm going to get such a swelled head!

Seriously though, thanks (if you're reading) to the many people who have made some really nice comments to me lately. I really need it, and it's doing wonders for my self-image!

Twice in the past days, people that I know have told me that I read my blog every day. I never knew they did, and it's very nice to know. (I guess I'd better stop being so slack about posting then!)

I'm also still getting some nice comments about how strong I am being. Sometimes I don't feel very strong, so it's nice that that's the perception of some people.

Another lovely person today told me that she liked the way I still talk about Samuel, about both my kids. Not like he's still here, not like it's so depressing to talk about him, but just...normally.
I told her that it had always been my intention. That I didn't want it to be like he'd never existed, that he had been here 13 years - too long to just wipe him out.
It's always a little bit worrying, how people will feel/react when I talk about him, but I don't care. It sounds cold, but someone else's discomfort is something I'm willing to deal with.

Anyway, it's been a nice week. So thanks to those of you who are telling me this lovely stuff, and thanks to those of you who are still reading. It's nice having you here.

Starting on a positive note

This week's going to be good! I'm starting the week with a fresh, positive attitude, so it can only go up, right?

I've already been to the gym this morning, and I think I've well and truly worked off the delicious cheesecake (Aunty Sue does the best cheesecake!) I had yesterday at a family birthday 'do'.
In fact, despite a bit of a naughty weekend where I ate too much crap (possibly as a result of my mood - see previous posts), I didn't put any weight on. So that's nice!

Anthony and I have sorted out some long-standing issues, and hopefully will work better as a team from now on.

It's going to be a long day today. I'm going to work, then this evening I'm going to be a facilitator at one of the first community forums for the Canberra 2030 project. It's aimed at giving Canberrans a say about what they want their city to look like in 10 years time. Who knows how much notice the government will actually take (or should I say, what they'll realistically be able to to), but it's a nice gesture if nothing else.
So we'll see how tonight goes. Hopefully not everyone there will be one of those noisy minority types...I'll let you know.

Have a nice day everyone!

Low, low, low, low, low, low, low

Argh! I'm feeling low today.

It's actually been quite a nice week at work. It's been a slow start, and is likely to get very busy, but I really think I'm going to enjoy it.
One thing that triggered me though was the things they gave me when I started. I mentioned before they gave me a new MacBook, and iPod Touch (they've now also given me a cool flip camera and a thumb drive) to use while I'm working there. Very nice, because as you know I like to play with technological toys.

But I looked at the iPod Touch, and because I've already got an iPhone, I was thinking 'what am I going to do with this?'. Oliver's a little too young, so I don't want to put it into his hands. If Sam was here, I would have let him use it. I think that's what made me sad. he would have loved playing with it.

But all in all, it was a very nice week. Great people, interesting stuff to do, nice working environment, all that. I think I'm really going to like it.

But towards the end of the week, things have gone a little south. Anthony and I had a big fight on Friday night (I won't go into details yet, but it's not completely resolved), and then today I discovered that someone's taken $90 from my VISA account (which is a debit card, so it makes things tough). Bastards! And I can't do anything about it until tomorrow! Argh!

Oh well, things can only get better, can't they?

UPDATE: Anthony and I have had a long talk, and have made progress in sorting things out. Things are looking up!

Another test I didn't want to take

On Saturday, I got the fright of my life.

I came home from the markets to find Anthony unconscious in the backyard; face-down in the mud.
Despite prodding, poking and yelling at him, I couldn't get a response, so I called an ambulance.
In the meantime my lovely neighbour, who is a nurse, came over and was doing the 'talk to me, move a finger if you can hear me' sort of thing, and generally reassuring me.

My parents also turned up, and went about looking after Ollie.

By the time the ambulance had arrived (about 10 minutes later), and moved Anthony into it (with the help of another paramedic team - two bloody ambulances outside my house! - 30 minutes or so later), he was still unconscious.

He kind of came to in the ambulance, but couldn't remember anything. It was another hour or so in the emergency ward before he started making any sense at all, but he was still sleepy.

Finally, after 5 hours, a CT scan and a lots of worried calls and messages from our family, I was able to take him home with a pretty nasty concussion.

It turned out that he had banged his head pretty hard on the monkey bars we have out in the backyard (we have a pretty amazing playground out there).

So, he was OK. A bit of a headache, but OK. But I've gotta tell you, I was a little freaked! It brought up a lot of memories, and was an extra worry I didn't need. But I guess it wasn't his fault.

But I'll tell you this, I don't need any more of those kinds of tests thank you very much! That's it! I think I've proved my worth now. Looking forward to calm times ahead...

New beginnings

I started my new job today.

It was very different to what I'm used to, but I think I'm definitely going to like it.

For a start, it was very nice to be treated as an equal by experts in the field. Straight away my contribution was welcomed, which was a very nice way to join in.

It was also very quiet and peaceful, which is something I'm not used to either. Hopefully that aspect won't drive me crazy! (actually, it won't, because it looks like I'll spend a lot of time travelling around and working with people).

The pace is very different too. It's refreshing to be able to go to the toilet whenever I actually need to, or finish what I'm doing without having to go on class or on duty. I can see I'm going to enjoy it!

They presented me with a MacBook Pro and an iPod touch to play with while I'm working there, which is kinda nice! I've just bought a lovely new iMac, and was going to give my old laptop to the boys to play with; so this will make it easier to relinquish the laptop!

All in all, I think it's a good decision. I'll keep you posted.

Feeling the Love

OK, so I'm loved.

It's still a little hard to comprehend, but it appears to be true.

My last day at school was quite lovely. Hectic, but lovely nonetheless. I had many kids give me cards, flowers, chocolates, wine and other pressies...and then of course there were the staff.
I got a lovely send off from the staff, with my (ex) boss offering some very kind and ego-boosting words (that I bring fun into the workplace, that I'm a 'glass half-full' person, that I take on lots of different challenges and manage to do them well).

All in all, it was a nice way to leave the place that I have worked for the last 3 and 3/4 years.

Mind you, I saw many of them again tonight, at a staff dinner that had been planned for a while.
We went out for some drinks and then a lovely Thai dinner, followed by more drinks and dancing at a pub. A great night of good conversation, great food, dancing, and a few more people telling me how 'awesome' I am.

I tell you, if this keeps up, I'm going to have a hugely swelled head! But as I said in the last post, it is nice to know people think so highly of me. It's hard to take, but it's definitely nice to know.

While I'm on the subject of awesome people, there were other events that made yesterday a very emotional day.

In the evening, Samuel's school had a tree planting and memorial dedication. His close friends had been planning it for a while, and they did such a great job.

We got there about 5:30, and the boys and Anthony and Oliver (I was taking photos which are currently trapped on my camera!) planted three lemon trees in pots that were donated by Bunnings. The boys then read out some lovely words they had written, with some great memories of their time with Sam.

After that, we went inside to the corridor adjacent to the courtyard garden where the trees are being kept. They have mounted a plaque there dedicated to Sam, with his photo and the words:

Sam McLauchlan
Memorial Garden
1996-2009
You lived well, laughed often
and loved much.
Forever in our hearts
The class of 2011

It's very lovely (I'll post a picture if I can ever rescue the photos off my camera - or if I take another one).

After that, we stayed for a concert the students were putting on. The first item was a song written and performed by Samuel's close friends Harry, Nick and Dave. These are the lyrics (with permission from Harry - thanks):

Harry:
You and I. We are worlds apart.
Things are different now, and I don't know, where you are.
I got caught up. I was livin' my own life.
Then I heard. That you left me, and when I turn around,
And your gone.
Farewell my friend. I wish you well my friend.
With all your travelling. And just how, you'll get through.

All:
We had some good times. Well that was another time.
The world keeps on spinnin' 'round. Oh and I'll remember you.

David:
Once I heard, that you were gone.
I didn't believe, but i was wrong.
Life right now, won't be the same.
Untill we meet, We'll all be in pain.
Farewell my friend. To the end my friend.
To the end. I will see you again.

Chorus

Harry and David speaking:
We laughed, we cried, we said goodbye.
But someone gave you, a license to fly.
I did not think, you'd be gone so long.
But it's 7 months and I'm still wrong.
Farewell my freind, we will meet again.
Farewell my friend, we will meet again.

Chorus

Riff

Chorus

Fade out riff.

"I changed it a bit to make it sound better. And in the last verse I'm gonna change the months every month."

Another journey is about to begin...

On Monday I start my new job. I'm very excited about it (and a bit nervous), but also sad about leaving the school I've worked at for the past 4 years.

The last couple of days have really opened my eyes to how much input I have had in this school. I know that I'm a good teacher and I work hard to develop relationships, but I've always just sort of cruised along, not really thinking I was that special (actually, that's a teeny lie, there have been times when I have done awesome things and felt like I deserved recognition). Some of it is my low self-esteem, but I feel funny when I'm blowing my own trumpet or drawing too much attention to myself.

It's different when I am running an assembly or speaking to the school community though. I'm quite confident then, and take great pleasure in hamming it up. The kids generally love it too. But when it comes to receiving compliments etc, I find it quite tricky. I like it, but I get a bit awkward about receiving and responding to so much positive communication!

And over the last few days, that seems to be the main thing that's happening. The staff keep telling me how much they'll miss me, parents are stopping me in the playground and telling me that I'll 'leave a big hole' in the school, and the kids are inundating me with everything from lovely handmade cards to presents to big hugs and lovely, kind words.

There's something nice about this 'outpouring'. It's a real ego boost and I really think it is going to help me in this self-improvement journey that I'm on.

Which is going pretty well, by the way. Since I started this health kick 9 weeks ago, I've lost almost 10 kilos, but it's more than that. On the health front, my skin and my hair feels great, I've got more energy, I am not having cravings for junky stuff. I'm actually enjoying exercise again, and feel sad when I can't get to my Zumba class!

I'm changing some of my other probably unhealthy habits too. I've been taking more care of my skin and hands, getting more sleep, keeping things a bit more organised and tidy, and doing more stuff just for me. This new job is going to take me in a new direction and I'm happy about that too. I'm even starting to get back a little of my creativity - the photos and (hopefully) the blog.

Sometimes I worry that I might be changing too much, especially for the people around me (that really seem to be standing still sometimes), and I guess that's something I'll have to tackle, but at the moment it's not a huge problem.

So tomorrow's my last day at school. I've got a feeling that it's going to be a nice day, surrounded by some really great people. I'll let you know how it goes.

Snow Day

On Sunday Anthony, Oliver and I went to Mount Selwyn for a snow day. It was a really lovely day - beautiful weather, nice easy drive up and back, and a fun day spent riding toboggans.

We hired 2 toboggans, and had lots of fun racing each other, taking turns to ride with Oliver, and finding ways to go faster and faster. I don't think any of us have laughed so much all year.

Oliver and Anthony also went on the tube ride, where you sit on a big tire tube and hurtle down a very fast slope (I didn't have a go because Ollie was having so much fun!)
I wish we had more days like this.

More soon. I promise.