Well I went back to work today. As I have mentioned, it has been a good 12 weeks since I worked, so needless to say it was a shock to the system - just the physical act of getting up and organised was draining.
The Moment
I had a little moment in the car on the way there. It's funny how you get so used to a routine: driving the same road, seeing the same cars going the other way (and on my trip there I drive past back-to-back traffic banked up for a long way - cars with single occupants all going to the same place). On the roundabout I drove past a friend who worked with me last year. She's at a different school now and when she turned off, I got a bit of a twinge. I realised that most of the people that I would lean on if things got tough were now gone from the school. Even though I've been there 3 years now, I felt like I was the new one. That feeling eased off a little once I got there, but my eyes did mist up a bit. And knowing that the routine is the same but things are so, so different...
The day was OK. Despite working with an age group I haven't taught for a good four years, I think it went pretty well. The kids were lovely, the other staff were lovely, and the parents were amazing. Such lovely support and comments. It was a nice feeling.
I can't help but think that everything is different though. I mean, of course it is, but (and I may be paranoid) I feel like people are treating me differently. Maybe they should, I dunno, maybe if they didn't I'd want them too, but there's something different.
People do this every day? I did this every day??
We had a staff meeting after school, and despite the fact that there was interesting stuff going on, I felt very, very tired just sitting there listening.
Tomorrow is another challenge. I start the day in pre-school. An age group I have never seen from a teacher perspective (but funnily enough the age group that inspired me to start teaching in the first place). I've only got them for a little while, but I think that will be more than enough.
going back to work after any long break is hard let alone with what you have gone through. just remember, its only work, there are more important things in the world!
ReplyDeleteas for the pre schoolers, remember that "discovery time" is a wonderful thing. (AKA Free play!!!) hahaha!
Good Luck tomorrow Mel! Remember to take those little baby steps with the pre schoolers. ;-)
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, Jenelle
Just remember what several people have said, "don't make any major decisions too quickly", give it some time and see how things go.
ReplyDeletePeople do treat you differently, because they don't necessarily know what is the "right" thing to do, or say. They don't want to be in your shoes, and to have gone through what you have, so people just try and tread carefully.
Also remember there are plenty of us out here to help you in any way you need.
love, Dad